The Quote Garden ™
“I dig old books.” ™
Quotations for April Fool's Day
The compliments of the season to my worthy masters, and a merry first of April to us all! ~Charles Lamb (1775–1834), "All Fools' Day"
This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. ~Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
Yet still when the famed first of April returns... I dread the approach. ~Matthew Gregory Lewis, "Grim, King of the Ghosts," c.1802
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. ~Chinese proverb
Men would not live long in society, were they not the mutual dupes of each other. ~François VI de la Rochefoucault (1613–1680)
He who is born a fool is never cured. ~Proverb
Let us be thankful for the fools; but for them the rest of us could not succeed. ~Mark Twain
If every fool wore a crown, we should all be kings. ~Welsh Proverb
Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever. ~Charles Lamb
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
~Robert Frost, "Cluster of Faith," 1962
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. ~Jack Handey
We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time. ~Abraham Lincoln
Even the gods love jokes. ~Plato
If you would avoid all fools go into a dense forest and there refrain from gazing into still pools. ~Austin O'Malley (1858–1932), Thoughts of a Recluse, 1898
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected. ~Will Rogers
A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. ~Henry Louis Mencken
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. ~Douglas Adams
It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. ~Max Eastman
Don't give cherries to pigs or advice to fools. ~Irish Proverb
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself. ~Clifton Paul Fadiman
It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools. ~Spanish proverb
Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His work must be contemplated with respect. ~Mark Twain
I have great faith in fools — self-confidence, my friends call it. ~Edgar Allan Poe
[W]e have all a touch of that same—you understand me—a speck of the motley. Beshrew the man who on such a day as this, the general festival, should affect to stand aloof. I am none of these sneakers. I am free of the corporation, and care not who knows it. He that meets me in the forest to day, shall meet with no wiseacre, I can tell him. Stultus sum....
Fill us a cup of that sparkling gooseberry—we will drink no wise, melancholy, politic port on this day....
Now would I give a trifle to know, historically and authentically, who was the greatest fool that ever lived.... Marry, of the present breed, I think I could without much difficulty name you the party....
To descend from these altitudes, and not to protract our Fools' Banquet beyond its appropriate day—for I fear the second of April is not many hours distant—in sober verity I will confess a truth to thee, reader. I love a fool—as naturally as if I were a kith and kin to him.... I had more yearnings towards that simple architect, that built his house upon sand, than I entertained for his more cautious neighbor.... I have never made an acquaintance since that lasted, or a friendship that answered, with any that had not some tincture of the absurd in their characters.... And take my word for this, reader, and say a fool told it you, if you please, that he who hath not a drachm of folly in his mixture, hath pounds of much worse matter in his composition.... and what have been some of the kindliest patterns of our species, but so many darlings of absurdity.... Reader, if you wrest my words beyond their fair construction, it is you, and not I, that are the April Fool.
~Charles Lamb (1775–1834), "All Fools' Day" ['Stultus sum' is Latin for 'I am a fool.' —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]
The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded. ~George Orwell
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? ~Rita Rudner
Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one? ~George Bernard Shaw
Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job. ~Author Unknown
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. ~Jack Handey
Last modified 2016 Aug 25 Thu 16:10 PDT