celebrating 16 years online 1998-2014
Quotations: “How True!”
If an article is attractive, or useful, or inexpensive, they'll stop making it tomorrow; if it's all three, they stopped making it yesterday. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered. ~Edgar Allan Poe
People who snore always fall asleep first. ~Author Unknown
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. ~Author Unknown
The trouble with, "A place for everything and everything in its place" is that there's always more everything than places. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter. ~Bat Masterson
No one is listening until you fart. ~Author Unknown
There is something very strange and unaccountable about a tow-line. You roll it up with as much patience and care as you would take to fold up a new pair of trousers, and five minutes afterwards, when you pick it up, it is one ghastly, soul-revolting tangle.
I do not wish to be insulting, but I firmly believe that if you took an average tow-line, and stretched it out straight across the middle of a field, and then turned your back on it for thirty seconds, that, when you looked round again, you would find that it had got itself altogether in a heap in the middle of the field, and had twisted itself up, and tied itself into knots, and lost its two ends, and become all loops; and it would take you a good half-hour, sitting down there on the grass and swearing all the while, to disentangle it again.
That is my opinion of tow-lines in general. Of course, there may be honourable exceptions; I do not say that there are not. There may be tow-lines that are a credit to their profession—conscientious, respectable tow-lines—tow-lines that do not imagine they are crochet-work, and try to knit themselves up into antimacassars the instant they are left to themselves. I say there may be such tow-lines; I sincerely hope there are. But I have not met with them. ~Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog), 1889
Interchangeable parts don't, leakproof seals aren't, and self-starters won't. ~Author Unknown
It's my luck that every time I feel I completely comprehend God's plan, I don't have a pencil with me. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
Keep a thing seven years and it's bound to come in handy. ~Russian Proverb
Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function. ~Richard Turner (1937-2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. "The Mudge," from "The Curmudgeon's Short Dictionary of Modern Phrases"
Admiration is a very short-lived passion, that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object; unless it be still fed with fresh discoveries, and kept alive by a perpetual succession of miracles rising into view. ~Joseph Addison
I have never met anyone who wanted to save the world without my financial support. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
There are men whom you will never dislodge from an opinion, except by taking possession of it yourself. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827
Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about. ~Sam Ewing
I find I always have to write something on a steamed mirror. ~Elaine Dundy
Self-Checkout Line – The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment. ~Richard Turner (1937-2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. "The Mudge," from "The Curmudgeon's Short Dictionary of Modern Phrases"
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. ~Dave Barry
It's annoying to be disapproved of by people who know only half the story, especially when you're not sure which half they know. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
The Act of God designation on all insurance policies... means roughly that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you. If your ox kicks a hole in your neighbor's Maserati, however, indemnity is instantaneous. ~Alan Coren, The Lady from Stalingrad Mansions, 1977