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Neurotic Selections from
The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960, and
The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966,
by Mignon McLaughlin


No good neurotic finds it difficult to be both opinionated and indecisive.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


The neurotic has perfect vision in one eye, but he cannot remember which.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


The real is very real to him, the unreal even more so.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


As we are human, we can't do what we can't do; as we're neurotic, we can't do what we can.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


The neurotic doesn't know how to cope with his emotional bills; some he keeps paying over and over, others he never pays at all.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


I'm afraid to win, and afraid to lose; I hate a draw and can't stop competing; otherwise I'm fine.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Others settle for small rewards; the neurotic must always go for broke.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


The neurotic longs to touch bottom, so at least he won't have that to worry about anymore.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


The neurotic circles ceaselessly above a fogged-in airport.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


The neurotic thinks himself both Hamlet and Claudius, in a world that belongs to Polonius.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


The neurotic is always half-drowning in anxiety, and always being half-rescued.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Neurosis is no worse than a bad cold; you ache all over, and it's made you a mess, but you won't die from it.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Neurotics would like to sleep all the time, and to be awakened only when there is good news.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


At the beginning of a love affair, not even the neurotic is neurotic.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


There are three iron links in the neurotic's chain:  unloving, unlovable, unloved.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


The neurotic listens to weather reports about Small Craft Warnings, and he thinks:  They're talking about me.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Naturally, the neurotic wants you to love him twice as much, for he's going to cut it in half anyway.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


The neurotic feels as though trapped in a gas-filled room where at any moment someone, probably himself, will strike a match.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Neurotics dream of a good life, or a great suicide note.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Neurotics always feel as though they were going way up or way down, which is odd in people going sideways.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


The neurotic usually obeys his own Golden Rule:  Hate thy neighbor as thyself.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Being neurotic is like shooting fish in a barrel, and missing them.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Neurotic:  someone who can go from the bottom to the top, and back again, without ever once touching the middle.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Neurotics are sure that no one understands them, and they wouldn't have it any other way.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


The way the neurotic sees it:  bars on his door mean that he's locked in; bars on your door mean that he's locked out.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


The neurotic keeps minute track of his enemies; it is only his friends he is careless about.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


The neurotic always wishes people would let him alone - until they do.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Neurotics make poor patriots; if you're ashamed of something as big as yourself, it's hard to be proud of something as small as your country.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


A doctor recently described to me "benign positional vertigo": it means you get dizzy in certain positions, but you can get over it without necessarily changing the position.  Change "vertigo" to "anxiety," and you've summed up the neurotic's plight.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Neurotics are always looking for something new to overdo.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Of all second-class citizens, neurotics are the only ones who are so by choice.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Neurotics are anxiety prone, accident prone, and often just prone.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


The neurotic believes that life has meaning, but that his life hasn't.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


The neurotic lies awake at night, composing letters to those he hates.  He seldom thinks of dropping a line to those he loves.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Neurotics think of the past with resentment, and the future with dread; the present just doesn't exist.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Neurotics expect you to remember all the things that they tell you, and many that they don't.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



UNOFFICIAL ADDENDUM
by Terri Guillemets
with compliments & apologies
to Mignon McLaughlin



The neurotic runs ragged even sitting still.  ~Terri Guillemets


The neurotic's mountain and molehill are equivalent in size.  ~Terri Guillemets


Overcast with drizzles - O! we neurotics welcome the riddance of that pesky sunshine.  ~Terri Guillemets


Don't offer a neurotic happiness - he'll never take it.  There's a bout of misery keeping him perfectly content.  ~Terri Guillemets


No matter how much the neurotic accomplished yesterday - even if he finished - he must start anew today.  ~Terri Guillemets


If a neurotic can't stand the heat, he complains about it until they kick him out of the kitchen.  ~Terri Guillemets


If something smells fishy, the neurotic knows everything is going just right.  ~Terri Guillemets


A constant din of alarms sound in the neurotic's head - only silence indicates something gone wrong.  ~Terri Guillemets


The overweight neurotic turned thin has mental weight she'll never lose.  ~Terri Guillemets


The neurotic calls in sick to more than just work - he's sprung ill to Life, as well.  ~Terri Guillemets


Neurotics, when they hit bottom, don't stop falling.  ~Terri Guillemets


A neurotic's problems are invisible to others - and to himself, as well.  ~Terri Guillemets


A neurotic whose problems are solved was never a neurotic to begin with.  ~Terri Guillemets


With neurotics, it's always "some assembly required."  ~Terri Guillemets


If a neurotic can't stand the heat, he lights another candle.  ~Terri Guillemets



MORE "NEUROTIC" QUOTES


The good writing of any age has always been the product of someone's neurosis, and we'd have a mighty dull literature if all the writers that came along were a bunch of happy chuckleheads.  ~William Styron, interview, Writers at Work, 1958


The aim of psychoanalysis is to relieve people of their neurotic unhappiness so that they can be normally unhappy.  ~Sigmund Freud, attributed


Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.  ~Carl Jung


A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air.  A psychotic is the man who lives in it.  A psychiatrist is the man who collects the rent.  ~Jerome Lawrence


A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell.  I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.  ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar


Everything great in the world is done by neurotics; they alone founded our religions and created our masterpieces.  ~Marcel Proust


It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician.  ~William Cullen, Practice of Physic


A mistake which is commonly made about neurotics is to suppose that they are interesting.  It is not interesting to be always unhappy, engrossed with oneself, malignant and ungrateful, and never quite in touch with reality.  ~Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave


Hypochondriacs squander large sums of time in search of nostrums by which they vainly hope they may get more time to squander.  ~Mortimer Collins


You can't escape history, or the needs and neuroses you've picked up like layers and layers of tartar on your teeth.  ~Charles Johnson



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Last modified 2014 Apr 03 Thu 09:11 PDT


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