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Quotations for Sys Admin Day

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The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.  ~Author Unknown

User, n.  The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot."  ~Dave Barry

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.  ~John F. Kennedy

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.  ~Author Unknown

There are three kinds of death in this world.  There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network.  ~Guy Almes

RAM disk is not an installation procedure.  ~Author Unknown

Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.  ~Author Unknown

If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation?  ~Author Unknown

Computers, huh?  I've heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes.... I don't know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys.  ~From the television show King of Queens (may not be exact wording), spoken by the character Doug Heffernan

Don't anthropomorphize computers - they hate it.  ~Author Unknown

Jesus saves!  The rest of us better make backups.  ~Author Unknown

In God we trust, all others we virus scan.  ~Author Unknown

There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer.  ~J.H. Goldfuss

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees.  That'll do them in.  ~Author Unknown

The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim.  ~Edsger W. Dijkstra

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.  ~Sydney J. Harris

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.  ~One of Murphy's Laws of Technology

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little.  ~Eric Porterfield

Computers are like air conditioners.  They work fine until you start opening windows.  ~Author Unknown

Hardware:  the parts of a computer that can be kicked.  ~Jeff Pesis

If it draws blood, it's hardware.  ~Author Unknown

I haven't lost my mind; I have a tape back-up somewhere.  ~Author Unknown

Back up my hard drive?  How do I put it in reverse?  ~Author Unknown

Truth is, I wouldn't know a gigabyte from a snakebite.  ~Dolly Parton

The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec.  ~Marcus Dolengo

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.  ~Author Unknown

If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine.  ~Rob Stampfli

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord.  ~Author Unknown

Programming is like sex.  One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.  ~Michael Sinz

It's not a bug - it's an undocumented feature.  ~Author Unknown

Version 1 of any software is full of bugs.  Version 2 fixes all the bugs and is great.  Version 3 adds all the things users ask for, but hides all the great stuff in Version 2.  ~Fred Blechman

Why did the sysadmin cross the road?  To get coffee, why else would one be outside?  ~Author Unknown

Programmer - an organism that turns coffee into software.  ~Author Unknown

To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.  ~Bill Vaughan, 1969 (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

Writing the first 90 percent of a computer program takes 90 percent of the time.  The remaining ten percent also takes 90 percent of the time and the final touches also take 90 percent of the time.  ~N.J. Rubenking

There are two major products that came out of Berkeley:  LSD and UNIX.  We do not believe this to be a coincidence.  ~Jeremy S. Anderson

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.  ~Mitch Ratcliffe

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