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Quotations about Women

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There is no such thing as an ugly woman. ~Vincent Van Gogh

As long as there are women in the world, men will have a greatly exaggerated idea of how many things take care of themselves. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. ~Dave Barry

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. ~Bill Maher

[W]omen are meant to be loved, not to be understood. ~Oscar Wilde, "The Sphinx without a Secret," 1891

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. ~Arnold Haultain

Women are always beautiful. ~Ville Valo

No man who respects his mother or loves his sister, can speak disparagingly of any woman; however low she may seem to have sunk, she is still a woman. I want every man to remember this. Every woman is, or, at some time, has been a sister or daughter.... ~Victoria Claflin Woodhull Martin, Tried As By Fire; or, The True and the False, Socially.

Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage. ~Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly

I also inherited something else, a trait that's increasingly rare nowadays and one that I've grown proud of. [My father] taught me, in his own stumbling, unorthodox, wordless way, to respect women—that they are more than one-night stands and objects of amusement. In every instance, there's a soul beneath that supple, scented skin, and you should never stroke one without first touching the other. ~Joe Kita, "Sex, Women, and Love," Wisdom of Our Fathers, 1999

Women like silent men. They think they're listening. ~Marcel Achard

Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece. ~Author Unknown

Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman's toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace. ~Marianne Williamson, "A Woman's Worth"

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. ~Carrie Snow

You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping. ~Cindy Crawford

You say I am discontented, proud and ambitious; that's true, and I'm glad of it. I am discontented, because I can't help feeling that there is a better sort of life than this dull one made up of everlasting work, with no object but money. I can't starve my soul for the sake of my body, and I mean to get out of the treadmill if I can. I'm proud, as you call it, because I hate dependence where there isn't any love to make it bearable.... I'm willing to work, but I want work that I can put my heart into, and feel that it does me good, no matter how hard it is. I only ask for a chance to be a useful, happy woman, and I don't think that is a bad ambition. Even if I only do what my dear mother did, earn my living honestly and happily, and leave a beautiful example behind me, to help one other woman as hers helps me, I shall be satisfied. ~Louisa May Alcott, "Christie," Work: A Story of Experience, 1873

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. ~Author Unknown

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. ~Laurence J. Peter

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. ~Charlotte Whitton

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy. ~Ellery Queen

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points. ~Mae West

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. ~Nicole Hollander

Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. ~Author Unknown

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. ~Chauncey Mitchell Depew

The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself. ~Elizabeth Metcalf

There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women. ~Madeleine K. Albright

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. ~Oscar Wilde

There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that. ~Harold Robbins

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. ~Author Unknown

Men get laid, but women get screwed. ~Quentin Crisp

The most popular image of the female despite the exigencies of the clothing trade is all boobs and buttocks, a hallucinating sequence of parabolae and bulges. ~Germaine Greer

Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked. ~Ovid

However, I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men. ~George Eliot, Adam Bede (Mrs. Poyser)

Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one. ~W.C. Fields

Women really do rule the world. They just haven't figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we're all in big big trouble. ~"Doctor Leon," drleons.com

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man. ~George Meredith

Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Women keep a special corner of their hearts for sins they have never committed. ~Cornelia Otis Skinner

Lovely female shapes are terrible complicators of the difficulties and dangers of this earthly life, especially for their owners. ~George du Maurier

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right — instantly. ~Sam Slick (Thomas Chandler Haliburton)

The essence of life is the smile of round female bottoms, under the shadow of cosmic boredom. ~Guy de Maupassant

I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm. ~Ogden Nash

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. ~Gail Sheehy

The torment that so many young women know, bound hand and foot by love and motherhood, without having forgotten their former dreams. ~Simone de Beauvoir

Be to her virtues very kind,
Be to her faults a little blind.
~Matthew Prior

They may talk of a comet, or a burning mountain, or some such bagatelle; but to me a modest woman, dressed out in all her finery, is the most tremendous object of the whole creation. ~Oliver Goldsmith

A highbrow is a man who has found something more interesting than women. ~Edgar Wallace

It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone. ~J.M. Barrie, What Every Woman Knows

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. ~Aristotle Onassis

Men will always delight in a woman whose voice is lined with velvet. ~Brendan Francis

Men really prefer reasonably attractive women; they go after the sensational ones to impress other men. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

I married beneath me — all women do. ~Nancy Astor, speech, Oldham, England, 1951

Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women. ~Elsa Schiaparelli

Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weakness. ~Marie de Vichy-Chamrond, marquise du Deffand

If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments. ~Art Buchwald, 1974

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. ~Oscar Wilde

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships. ~Gilda Radner

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak. ~Woody Allen, Getting Even, 1973

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman. ~Alexandre Dumas, fils

When a woman comes to her glass, she does not employ her time in making herself look more advantageously what she really is, but endeavours to be as much another creature as she possibly can. Whether this happens because they stay so long and attend their work so diligently that they forget the faces and persons which they first sat down with, or whatever it is, they seldom rise from the toilet the same woman they appeared when they began to dress. ~Joseph Addison

All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

A woman should soften but not weaken a man. ~Sigmund Freud

Women are in league with each other, a secret conspiracy of hearts and pheromones. ~Camille Paglia

When I glimpse the backs of women's knees I seem to hear the first movement of Beethoven's "Pastoral Symphony." ~Author Unknown

A woman wears her tears like jewelry. ~Author Unknown

If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? Nobody. ~J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye

No woman wants to see herself too clearly. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else. ~Bella Abzug

The basic Female body comes with the following accessories: garter belt, panti-girdle, crinoline, camisole, bustle, brassiere, stomacher, chemise, virgin zone, spike heels, nose ring, veil, kid gloves, fishnet stockings, fichu, bandeau, Merry Widow, weepers, chokers, barrettes, bangles, beads, lorgnette, feather boa, basic black, compact, Lycra stretch one-piece with modesty panel, designer peignoir, flannel nightie, lace teddy, bed, head. ~Margaret Atwood

Women go to beauty parlors for the unmussed look men hate. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Women polish the silver and water the plants and wait to be really needed. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

You have to have the kind of body that doesn't need a girdle in order to get to pose in one. ~Carolyn Kenmore

A woman's hopes are woven of sunbeams; a shadow annihilates them. ~George Eliot

[A] woman's three best comforters,—kind words, a baby, and a cup of tea. ~Louisa May Alcott, "Through the Mist," Work: A Story of Experience, 1873

There are women who do not like to cause suffering to many men at a time, and who prefer to concentrate on one man: These are the faithful women. ~Alfred Capus

A man sometimes wins an argument, but a woman always wins a silence. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com

Physically, a man is a man for a much longer time than a woman is a woman. ~Honoré de Balzac, The Physiology of Marriage

The girls that are always easy on the eyes are never easy on the heart. ~Author Unknown

If a woman must make a fool of herself, the least a man can do is to let her be one in her own way. ~When Ladies Meet, 1941 movie written by Rachel Crothers, John Meehan, Leon Gordon, S.K. Lauren, and Anita Loos, spoken by the character Bridgie Drake

Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt. Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

I've reached the age where competence is a turn-on. ~Billy Joel

Being a lady is an attitude. ~Chuck Woolery, Love Connection

A man gives many question marks, however, a woman is a whole mystery. ~Diana Stürm

Chastity in feeling and imagination, in word and action, is the principal virtue that either of choice or unconsciously reigns in the bosom of woman. It is tender and delicate, like an exotic plant, and cannot endure exposure.... The family is her sphere of action, there she arranges and orders what man gathers, and with propriety and taste embellishes the house, and renders it attractive. She desires whatever increases domestic comfort, as furniture and dress, order and cleanliness, full chests and drawers. ~Frederick A. Rauch, Psychology; or, A View of the Human Soul: Including Anthropology, Being the Substance of a Course of Lectures, Delivered to the Junior Class Marshall College, Penn., 1840

In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on woman. ~Nancy Astor, My Two Countries

God did it on purpose so that we may love you men instead of laughing at you. ~Mrs Patrick Campbell, in reply to a male acquaintance who asked why women seem to have no sense of humor

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell. ~Alfred Lord Tennyson

A woman asks little of love: only that she be able to feel like a heroine. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. ~Helen Rowland

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. ~Stanley Baldwin

I live! Red life boils in my veins, earth yields beneath my feet, in the glow of love I embrace trees and statues, and they live in my embrace. Every woman is to me the gift of a world. I revel in the melody of her countenance, and with a single glance of my eye I can enjoy more than others with their every limb through all their lives. ~Heinrich Heine, "Ideas: Book Le Grand," 1826, translated from German by Charles Godfrey Leland, Pictures of Travel, 1855

And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them. ~Helen Rowland

I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out. ~George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss

Men look at themselves in mirrors. Women look for themselves. ~Elissa Melamed

If your husband expects you to laugh, do so; if he expects you to cry, don't; if you don't know what he expects, what are you doing married? ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Women do not find it difficult nowadays to behave like men, but they often find it extremely difficult to behave like gentlemen. ~Compton Mackenzie, Literature in My Time, 1933

One is not born a woman, one becomes one. ~Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 1949

Let us leave the beautiful women to men with no imagination. ~Marcel Proust, Albertine disparue, 1925

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty. ~James Thurber, Time, 1960 August 15th

Dramatic art in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater. ~Bette Davis, about Jayne Mansfield

The man's desire is for the woman; but the woman's desire is rarely other than for the desire of the man. ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge

After about twenty years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of that one. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. ~Mel Gibson, about what women want

Women who make men talk better than they are accustomed to are always popular. ~E.V. Lucas

I'm not against half naked girls — not as often as I'd like to be. ~Benny Hill

A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares. ~Elbert Hubbard

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. ~Dave Barry

The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them. ~Robert Graves

What men desire is a virgin who is a whore. ~Edward Dahlbert

Women are afraid of mice and of murder, and of very little in between. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

A woman should be an illusion. ~Ian Fleming

There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature. ~Stephen Stills

It is because of men that women dislike one another. ~Jean de La Bruyère, Characters, 1688

Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man and work like a dog. ~Caroline K. Simon

If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt. ~Thomas Carlyle

Take time as it comes, the wind as it blows, woman as she is. ~Alfred de Musset, The Confession of a Child of the Century/La Confession d'un enfant du siècle, 1836, Desgenais to Octave, translated from French by Kendall Warren

Women who feel naked without their lipstick are well over thirty. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Women are like dogs really. They love like dogs, a little insistently. And they like to fetch and carry and come back wistfully after hard words, and learn rather easily to carry a basket. ~Mary Roberts Rinehart

It's simple. Women only nag when they feel unappreciated. ~Louis de Bernières, Captain Corelli's Mandolin

It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time. ~Tallulah Bankhead

Women are beautiful, and yummy. ~A.C. Van Cherub, c.1987

[H]er figure might be described by a poet as just set in the luxurious mould of womanhood. ~"Diary of a Surgeon," in The Library of Fiction, or Family Story-Teller; consisting of Original Tales, Essays, and Sketches of Character, Vol. I, 1836

Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know how to pace themselves. Since few women ever pass forty, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely. ~Christian Dior, Collier's, 1955 June 10th

A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful. ~Karl Kraus

A man chases a woman until she catches him. ~American Proverb

Variability is one of the virtues of a woman. It avoids the crude requirement of polygamy. So long as you have one good wife you are sure to have a spiritual harem. ~G.K. Chesterton, Alarms and Discursions, "The Glory of Grey"

Beauty is the first present Nature gives to women, and the first it takes away. ~Méré

There's just something about letting a girl have her way with you. ~A.C. Van Cherub, c.1987

Usually the woman has an appointment with destiny, and the man just happens to be there. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com

Brains are an asset, if you hide them. ~Mae West

Breasts and bosoms I have known
Of varied shapes and sizes
From poignant disappointments
To jubilant surprises.
~Waldo Pierce

With men, as with women, the main struggle is between vanity and comfort; but with men, comfort often wins. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her. ~John Vanbrugh, The Relapse, 1696

Is it too much to ask that women be spared the daily struggle for superhuman beauty in order to offer it to the caresses of a subhumanly ugly mate? ~Germaine Greer, The Female Eunuch, 1970

A woman can look both moral and exciting... if she also looks as if it was quite a struggle. ~Edna Ferber

Women have very little idea of how much men hate them. ~Germaine Greer

Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak. ~William Shakespeare, As You Like It

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football. ~Fran Lebowitz

You're booty-blinded. You know what that is? It's like being snow-blinded only it ain't no snow, it's a cute little piece of ass. ~From the movie I Spy (Fine, Friedkin, Wibberley, Scherick, Ronn)

Women are never landlocked: they're always mere minutes away from the briny deep of tears. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

To get to a woman's heart, a man must first use his own. ~Mike Dobbertin, quoted in A 5th Portion of Chicken Soup for the Soul

Woman's virtue is man's greatest invention. ~Cornelia Otis Skinner, attributed

Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little. ~Samuel Johnson

Women speak two languages — one of which is verbal. ~William Shakespeare

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. ~James Thurber

My eleven-year-old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow. ~Bill Cosby

In the first place, I hate women because they always know where things are. At first blush, you might think that a perverse and merely churlish reason for hating women, but it is not. Naturally, every man enjoys having a woman around the house who knows where his shirt-studs and his brief-case are, and things like that, but he detests having a woman around who knows where everything is, even things that are of no importance at all, such as, say, the snapshots her husband took three years ago at Elbow Beach. The husband has never known where these snapshots were since the day they were developed and printed; he hopes, in a vague way, if he thinks about them at all, that after three years they have been thrown out. But his wife knows where they are, and so do his mother, his grandmother, his great-grandmother, his daughter, and the maid. They could put their fingers on them in a moment, with that quiet air of superior knowledge which makes a man feel that he is out of touch with all the things that count in life. ~James Thurber, "The Case Against Women"

Who loves not women, wine, and song, remains a fool his whole life long. ~German Proverb

Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue. ~Hermione Gingold

The people I'm furious with are the women's liberationists. They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming women are brighter than men. That's true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket. ~Anita Loos, New York Times, 1974 February 10th

Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember. ~Author Unknown

No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not. ~H.L. Mencken

We are foolish, and without excuse foolish, in speaking of the superiority of one sex to the other, as if they could be compared in similar things! Each has what the other has not; each completes the other; they are in nothing alike; and the happiness and perfection of both depend on each asking and receiving from the other what the other only can give. ~John Ruskin

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Last modified 2015 Nov 24 Tue 10:57 PST

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