Funny Quotes about Vegetables

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. ~Will Rogers

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. ~Jim Davis

After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual “food” out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps. ~Miss Piggy

Large, naked raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter. ~Fran Lebowitz

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education. ~Mark Twain

Apelles gave us supper as if he had butchered a garden, thinking he was feeding sheep and not friends. There were radishes, chicory, fenugreek, lettuces, leeks, onions, basil, mint, rue, and asparagus. I was afraid that after all these things he would serve me with hay, so when I had eaten some half-soaked lupins I went off. ~Ammianus (2nd century A.D.), in The Greek Anthology, Volume IV, “Book XI: The Convivial and Satirical Epigrams,” epigram 413, translated by W.R. Paton, 1918

I have so mushroom in my heart for you! ~Internet meme

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. ~Doug Larson