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Quotations about Onions, Garlic,
Herbs, Condiments, & Ingredients
A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat. ~New York proverb
There were ruddy, brown-faced, broad-girthed Spanish onions, shining in the fatness of their growth like Spanish friars, and winking from their shelves in wanton slyness at the girls as they went by, and glanced demurely at the hung-up mistletoe. ~Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol, 1843
Studies find top 3 most stressful moments in people's lives: death, divorce, and properly pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce." ~Tony Hsieh, @Zappos, tweet, 2010
Come, follow me by the smell,
Here are delicate onions to sell,
I promise to use you well.
They make the blood warmer;
You'll feed like a farmer:
For this is every cook's opinion,
No savoury dish without an onion;
But, lest your kissing should be spoil'd,
Your onions must be thoroughly boil'd:
Or else you may spare
Your mistress a share,
The secret will never be known;
She cannot discover
The breath of her lover,
But think it as sweet as her own.
~Jonathan Swift, "Onions"
Mine eyes smell onions; I shall weep anon... ~William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends Well, c.1602
Condiments are like old friends — highly thought of, but often taken for granted. ~Marilyn Kaytor, 1963
We tackled the cold beef for lunch, and then we found that we had forgotten to bring any mustard. I don't think I ever in my life, before or since, felt I wanted mustard as badly as I felt I wanted it then. I don't care for mustard as a rule, and it is very seldom that I take it at all, but I would have given worlds for it then.
I don't know how many worlds there may be in the universe, but anyone who had brought me a spoonful of mustard at the precise moment could have had them all. I grow reckless like that when I want a thing and can't get it....
It cast a gloom over the boat, there being no mustard. We ate our beef in silence. ~Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog), 1889
Salt looks like sugar. ~Proverb
Life is an onion and one cries while peeling it. ~Proverb
ONION The all-round strength champion of the Vegetable Kingdom, garlic and cabbage being close rivals. ~Charles Wayland Towne, The Foolish Dictionary, Executed by Gideon Wurdz, Master of Pholly, Doctor of Loquacious Lunacy, etc., 1904
Most of the food allergies die under garlic and onion. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)
Honey has more poetry about it than any other form of food, it seems to me. It is gathered sunlight, candied perfume of flowers, the scent of new-cut grass, the essence of spring breezes, the heart of summer days, so that one may eat all the summer and autumn in concentrated sweetness beside the winter fire, in a dreamful transubstantiation of delight. And how kind of the bee not to preserve his sting in the honey! ~Dorothy Scarborough, "Entomology on a Country Porch," From a Southern Porch, 1919
Shake and shake the catsup bottle
None will come — and then a lot'll.
~Richard Armour, 1940s
Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese; garlic makes it good. ~Alice May Brock, 1969
My dear young lady, there's no such thing as a little garlic. ~Judge, 1921
ONION. A noisy vegetable eaten principally by people who sit next to us in street cars. ~Noah Lott (George V. Hobart), The Silly Syclopedia, 1905
As far as possible raise your own herbs... Fresh herbs... are far superior to dry ones. ~Evora Bucknum Perkins, The Laurel Health Cookery, 1911
To make this condiment, your poet begs
The pounded yellow of two hard-boiled eggs;
Let onion atoms lurk within the bowl,
And, half-suspected, animate the whole.
Four times the spoon with oil of Lucca crown,
And twice with vinegar procured from town;
Of mordant mustard add a single spoon,
(Distrust the condiment that bites so soon;)
But deem it not, thou man of herbs, a fault,
To add a double quantity of salt.
And, lastly, o'er the flavored compound toss
A magic-spoon of anchovy sauce.
Oh, green and glorious! Oh, herbaceous treat!...
~Sydney Smith (1771–1845), "Receipt for Dressing Salad" [A little altered. "Receipt" is the old-timey word for "recipe."
RICHMOND P. HOBBS. Doctor, I positively cannot eat onions.
DR. MARIAN MEASLES. The very thing to make you strong, lusty, robust.
HOBBS. I don't want to be strong; I want to be quiet.
~J. S. Murphy, "Hobson's Choice," in The American Literary Reciter, compiled by Richard Linthicum, 1902
The onion eater and his brother,
Though inoffensive to each other,
Are by their diet alienated
From those who've not participated.
~Richard Armour, "Onions," in What Cheer: An Anthology of American and British Humorous and Witty Verse, Gathered, Sifted, and Salted, with an Introduction by David McCord, 1945
An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. ~Author unknown, May Irwin's favorite quotation, Saturday Evening Post, 1931, as quoted by Burton Stevenson
What is stronger than a mother's love? The smell of spring onions on your girl's breath. ~J. Melville Janson, Encyclopedia of Comedy, 1895
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