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Quotations about Days of the Week

Mondays. —

Monday. The cruelest month. ~Eric Jarosinski, @NeinQuarterly, tweet, 2015

I love Saturday, I love Sunday,
but how could anyone ever love Monday?...
~Ogden Nash, "We'll All Feel Better by Wednesday," Versus, 1949

...Mondays are all hereby suspended until and subject to further orders of the United States... ~H. A. Garfield, 1918  [USFA "heatless Monday" rules —tg]

Life is described by a scientist as the metabolic activity of protoplasm. It often seems even worse than that on a Monday morning. ~Anonymous, 1920s

Monday Morning, fair or bleak,
Holds the Key to all the Week.
~Arthur Guiterman, "Of Days," A Poet's Proverbs, 1924

Since no Mondays are Tuesdays, the Mondays which are Tuesdays are also Fridays. ~John B. Watson, "Image and Affection in Behavior," 1913

You say right, sir; a Monday morning; twas so indeed. ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet, c.1600  [II, 2, Hamlet]

How are Mondays even still legal? ~Keith Wynn

In mist Monday
A giant ship stopped on a soundless,
Sightless sea.
~James Oppenheim

...Mondays are peculiarly appropriated to the confraternities of the souls in purgatory. ~G. D. Emerline, "Festivals and Confraternities," Frauds of Papal Ecclesiastics, 1835

Thank God for our fun days;
Thank God for our Mondays!
Let's not mope and be sad,
Let's rejoice and be glad!
~William Arthur Ward, "Be Glad!"

Monday is the day that everything starts all over again,
Monday is the day when just as you are beginning to feel peaceful you have to get up and get dressed and put on your old gray bonnet and drive down to Dover again,
It is the day when life becomes grotesque again,
Because it is the day when you have to face your desk again...
~Ogden Nash (1902–1971), "Every Day Is Monday"

That which is stolen from God on Sunday is given to the devil on Monday. ~James Lendall Basford, Seven Seventy Seven Sensations, 1897

Monday — Meh-day. ~Terri Guillemets, "But, Ralph!," 2005

Thank you, dear coffee, for making Mondays feel a little less… Monday. ~Keith Wynn

If Monday were a cup of coffee, it would be decaf. ~Keith Wynn

The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning. ~Sandy Cooley

Building on the popularity of casual Fridays, many companies have instituted bad hair Monday. ~John McPherson, Close to Home, September 2005,

If Monday were an animal, it would be a mosquito. ~Keith Wynn

After Purrs-day, Feline Friday, and Caturday comes Dog-Tired Monday. ~Terri Guillemets

Monday! ha, ha! ~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, c.1594  [III, 4, Capulet]

Dear Monday: I've met someone else. ~Keith Wynn

I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. ~John Waters, "Things I Hate," interview with Jon Winokur, in Return of the Portable Curmudgeon, 1995

Tuesdays. —

The Tuesday after a three-day weekend is a cruel, cruel bastard. ~Keith Wynn

Does anyone else think to themselves that it's been a hell of a long week, only to realize it's Tuesday? ~Keith Wynn

Wednesdays. —

Wednesday is to-morrow... ~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, c.1594  [IV, 1, Friar Laurence]

Wednesday is too soon... ~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, c.1594  [III, 4, Capulet]

Thursdays. —

Thursday is near... ~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, c.1594  [III, 5, Capulet]

Lousy Wednesday...
Sweet Thursday...
Waiting Friday...
~John Steinbeck, Sweet Thursday, 1954

...o' Thursday... indeed... ~William Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part I, c.1597  [II, 4, Henry V]

O' Thursday let it be... ~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, c.1594  [III, 4, Capulet]

But what say you to Thursday? ~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, c.1594  [III, 4, Capulet]

Thursday, sir? the time is very short. ~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, c.1594  [IV, 1, Friar Laurence]

That may be must be, love, on Thursday... ~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, c.1594  [IV, 1, Paris]

You have casual Fridays. Those of us who work at home have shaveless Mondays… deodorantless Tuesdays… sockless Wednesdays… and of course, topless Thursdays. ~Rob Harrell, Adam@Home, 1996

Fridays. —

I believe that it is a mandatory Law of the Universe that on Fridays, you have to do something a little fun. ~Hanna Rhoades,, 2006

Friday is the spring fever of the week! ~Terri Guillemets, "Yippee ki yo Friday!," 2009

If Friday were a rainbow, it would be a double one. ~Keith Wynn

A rainbow on Friday is the best of luck. It will cure a broken promise. ~Folk-Lore from Maryland, collected by Annie Weston Whitney and Caroline Canfield Bullock, 1925

It is good luck to be born on Friday. ~Folk-Lore from Maryland, collected by Annie Weston Whitney and Caroline Canfield Bullock, 1925

Not everyone believes that Friday is unlucky, but nearly everybody agrees it is a waiting day. In business, the week is really over. In school, Friday is the half-open gate to freedom. Friday is neither a holiday nor a workday, but a time of wondering what Saturday will bring. ~John Steinbeck, Sweet Thursday, 1954

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night...
~Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!, 1990

Hello, Friday. Where's the chocolate? I was told there would be chocolate. ~Dr. SunWolf, @WordWhispers, tweet, 2015,

1st Chicken:  It's Friday!
2nd Chicken:  Yay! I live for the weekends! Which unfortunately means that every week feels like two steps forward and five steps back.
~Doug Savage, Savage Chickens, 2015

If you learn anything new on Friday, it will add a wrinkle to your face. ~Folk-Lore from Maryland, collected by Annie Weston Whitney and Caroline Canfield Bullock, 1925

Never begin anything of Friday. ~Folk-Lore from Maryland, collected by Annie Weston Whitney and Caroline Canfield Bullock, 1925

If Monday is a mosquito and Wednesday is a camel, then Friday is a unicorn! ~Terri Guillemets

I don't care if Monday's blue,
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too,
Thursday I don't care about you,
It's Friday, I'm in love...
~The Cure, "Friday I'm in Love," Wish, 1992, written by Simon Gallup, Pearl Thompson, Boris Williams, Perry Bamonte, & Robert Smith ♫

Monday you can fall apart,
Tuesday, Wednesday, break my heart,
Oh, Thursday doesn't even start,
It's Friday, I'm in love...
~The Cure, "Friday I'm in Love," Wish, 1992, written by Simon Gallup, Pearl Thompson, Boris Williams, Perry Bamonte, & Robert Smith ♫

If Friday were a lady in a café, I'd buy her a cappuccino and strike up a conversation. ~Keith Wynn

Friday night dreams come true.
      Friday dreamed and Saturday told,
      Sure to come true ere it's nine days old.
~Folk-Lore from Maryland, collected by Annie Weston Whitney and Caroline Canfield Bullock, 1925

The week only made sense because of Friday night, and Friday night only made sense because of booze. ~Ladhood, "The Friday Night," 2019, written by Liam Williams  [S1, E2, Narrator Liam]

A converted cannibal is one who, on Friday, eats only fishermen. ~Emily Lotney, as quoted in Laurence J. Peter, Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Time, 1977

Saturdays. —

Now nothing happened the next week except going to school, and gee whiz, there's no adventure in that. The best thing about school is Saturday because there isn't any. You can talk about Good Friday, but good Saturdays are good enough for me. ~Percy Keese Fitzhugh, Roy Blakeley: Lost, Strayed or Stolen, 1921

When do we journey down to town?
If rough or fine, if rain or shine,
      On Saturday.
When do we smooth our wrinkles out?
When do we nurse our corns and gout?
      On Saturday!
When do we heal our wounds and smarts?
When do we make our pies and tarts?
      On Saturday!
When do the children loudest shout?
When bring the choicest playthings out?
When do we take our trips and jaunts?
      On Saturday!
When do we gather fruits and flower,
And spend our happy half-day hours,
In shady lanes and mossy bowers?
      On Saturday!
~Jane Moore, "Saturday," Wild Flowers of Song, 1880  [A little altered. "With love to all my fellow-creatures, yours sincerely, Jane Moore, Bolton-le-Moors." –tg]

In our house we began getting whiffs of Saturday as early as Friday evening, when the bread was "set" on the kitchen table... The smell of the cold bread-dough... always meant "no school tomorrow," and was a preliminary to the "no school today" smells of Saturday... beans baking... bread and pies... cake in the oven... corned beef... potatoes... burning leaves... rugs being dusted... ~Robert Benchley, "Saturday's Smells," From Bed to Worse, 1934

How pleasant is Saturday night
When I've tried all the week to be good,
Not spoken a word that was bad
And obliged every one that I could...
~Nancy Ann Dennis Sproat (1766–1826)

On the Sixth Day, God created man, the sort of result you often get when you go in to work on a Saturday. ~Robert Brault,

...and had more sabbaticals in their lives than Saturdays... ~Alexander Theroux, Darconville's Cat, 1981

Sundays. —

It was Sunday — not a day, but rather a gap between two other days. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald, "Crazy Sunday," 1932

Sunday comes apace... ~William Shakespeare, Taming of the Shrew, c.1593  [II, 1, Petruchio]

Sunday. The poor man's rich day. ~Christian Nestell Bovee (1820–1904), in The Atlantic Monthly, December 1858

There are few things as relaxing as that serene Sunday morning silence. ~Keith Wynn

Curious is the psychology of Sunday. Humanity enjoying itself is on the whole a dreary spectacle, and holidays are more disheartening than drudgery. ~D. H. Lawrence, Mornings in Mexico, 1927

Of all the Days are in the Week,
      I dearly love but one Day,
And that's the Day that comes betwixt
      The Saturday and Monday...
~The Vocal Miscellany: A Collection of above Four Hundred Celebrated Songs, 1738

Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week... ~Joseph Addison, 1711

Sunday! We greet you with a smile. Perhaps we are not all devout, but we are all glad you are so near, and to-night, as we draw close to the fire, we settle back happy that to-morrow is a day of rest. ~Charles F. Raymond, "The Day of Rest," Cheer Up, 1909

...Sunday-citizens... ~William Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part I, c.1597  [III, 1, Hotspur (Henry Percy)]

...Sunday afternoons drift into
gray nothingness
and the only sound is the
beating of wings
on the coming evening air...
time goes softly with the wind and
i am free to be myself...
~Ken Sekaquaptewa and Candy St. Jacques, Sahuaro, 1970, yearbook of the Associated Students of Arizona State University

Sunday gives us fresh courage for Monday. ~Charles F. Raymond, "The Day of Rest," Cheer Up, 1909  [a little altered —tg]

How Sunday into Monday melts! ~Ogden Nash (1902–1971), "Time Marches On"

I believe I see what the week is for:  it is to give time to rest up from the weariness of Sunday. ~Mark Twain (Adam)

Then comes Sunday morning, with the peculiar looseness of its sunshine. And even if you keep mum, the better-half says: Let's go somewhere. ~D. H. Lawrence, Mornings in Mexico, 1927

Sunday morning coffee is one of the greatest things in life. ~Keith Wynn

SWEET Days, God's daughters, shining o'er the world!
Bright are your feet on the far morning shore,
And, going back to heaven for evermore
Through twilight's dreamy golden gates unfurl'd,
Your footsteps in the dews of evening shine.
A radiant garland round the burning throne,
Guarded with angel wings—a heavenly zone—
Fair are ye all, dear Rays of Light Divine!
Yet fairest is she, the youngest of your name,
In her pure garment of translucent white,
And wearing on her head the halo-light
Brightening till all things near her wear the same:
For—though God loves ye all—when ye are bless'd
His Hand lies on her brow, dear Day of Rest!
~John James Piatt (1835–1917), "The Week," Poems in Sunshine and Firelight, 1863

The feeling of Sunday is the same everywhere, heavy, melancholy, standing still. ~Jean Rhys

There is no such thing as weariness on Sunday... on Sundays fatigue does not work. ~Victor Hugo, translated by Lascelles Wraxall, 1862

One thing most religions agree on is that after six days of breakfast, lunch and dinner, there should be one day of brunch and supper. ~Robert Brault,

Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on. ~Ed Howe, as quoted in Laurence J. Peter, Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Time, 1977

Sunday didn't begin to get you down until later in the day. ~Robert Benchley, "Saturday's Smells," From Bed to Worse, 1934

You ever take a nap so good that you thought you missed the school bus. But it's Sunday… and you're 32. ~@JazminsThoughts, tweet, 2019

...sigh away Sundays... ~William Shakespeare, Much Ado about Nothing, c.1598  [I, 1, Benedick]

Weekends. —

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes (comic strip), 1995  [Calvin]

Why wait for the weekend to have fun  ~Loesje,

Live for everyday, not just the weekends. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book, 1995,

The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters, 1999

Weekends don't pay as well as weekdays but at least there's football. ~S. A. Sachs

Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays, and all. ~William Shakespeare, As You Like It, c.1599  [IV, 1, Rosalind]

Weekend — the frosting on the cupcake of the week. ~Terri Guillemets

...Let's make a scientific analysis,
Let's diagnose this Monday paralysis.
Well, you've suffered an overdose of sunburn;
You must blister and peel before you un-burn.
For junk your muscles could all be sold for,
From engaging in games you are now too old for.
You're bloated from a diet of buns and hamburgers,
Chickenburgers, cheeseburgers, nutburgers, clamburgers.
Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy,
You've had about seven hours' sleep since Friday,
No wonder you feel that lost sensation;
You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.
What you do on week ends, you claim to adore it.
But Monday's the day that you suffer for it...
~Ogden Nash, "We'll All Feel Better by Wednesday," Versus, 1949

      As long as the week-end was a disease of only the rich I restrained myself from saying anything about it. But now that practically everybody in America commences to degenerate every Thursday noon, not to recover until about the following Wednesday evening, I think it is time I took the matter up... Thursday morning is about the only part of the working week that is left... Need I call attention to the Roman Empire, which went to the dogs because it regarded life as a week-end?
      Have I convinced everybody that what everybody ought to do is to start out clear-headed and get down to work at eight o'clock every Monday morning and stick to it conscientiously until six o'clock Saturday evening?
      Neither will I. ~Don Herold, "The Spread of the Week-End," So Human, 1924

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you can get rid of him on weekends. ~Joan Shawback, c. 1991

WEEKEND. — Light at the end of the tunnel. Extra sleep. Extra fun. Sanity break! ~Terri Guillemets

Men need to get away now and then for longer than just their usual Saturday-to-Monday. ~J. M. Barrie, "Every Man His Own Doctor"  [paraphrased —tg]

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