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Quotations about
Desserts & Sweet Tooth



SEE ALSO:  CANDY CHOCOLATE PIES DONUTS ICE CREAM FRUIT HOT COCOA SNORTING CHOCOLATE COOKING DIETING


All people with healthy physical appetites have a sweet tooth somewhere in their heads. ~Macmillan's Magazine, 1887


I want to have a good body, but not as much as I want dessert. ~Jason Love


White grapes are very attractive but when it comes to dessert people generally like cake with icing. ~Fran Lebowitz


My celebrity crush is Betty Crocker. ~Keith Wynn, tweet, 2017


Sometimes, eating a thick slice of chocolate fudge cake with ice cream makes you a better person. ~Dr. SunWolf, @WordWhispers, tweet, 2012, professorsunwolf.com


Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. ~Jim Davis


      Yes, triumphant we still believe what once militant we maintained — that the only way to eat cake is when it is just out of the oven, that the only way to eat ice cream is to dip it out of the freezer, down under the apple tree, in the mid-morning or mid-afternoon. Afterward, when it appears in sober decorum, surrounded by all the appurtenances of civilization, it is a very commonplace affair; out under the apple tree it is ambrosia.
      Why not go further? Why not take all our desserts in life when they taste best, instead of at the proper time? If we postpone our pie, it is often snatched from us and we never get it at all. So let us take our pleasures without apology. ~Elisabeth Woodbridge, "On Taking One's Dessert First," The Jonathan Papers, 1912  [a little altered —tg]


Finally caved and did that ancestry thing, and it turns out I'm 72% pastry. ~Keith Wynn, tweet, 2020


Desserts are the fairy tales of dining — a happily-ever-after to supper. ~Terri Guillemets


Mousse: How pudding describes itself on its résumé! ~Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, @LastWeekTonight, tweet, 2015


Whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all unless it's been whipped with whips. Just as a poached egg isn't a poached egg unless it's been stolen from the woods in the dead of night! ~Roald Dahl, "Down the Chocolate River," Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, 1964


You are my favorite excuse to whip cream. ~@AnonymousVoyeur, tweet, 2010


As a librarian, I find that one of youth's most popular bookmarks is a popsicle stick, but this is usually licked dry and sanitary first. I am inclined to believe, however, that this is not invariably done from motives of cleanliness. ~Gerald Raftery, "Ambrosia — with Mayonnaise Yet!," in The New York Herald Tribune, 1961


It's impossible to be gloomy when you're sitting behind a marshmallow. ~Charles M. Schulz, Peanuts, 1969  [Lucy, roasting marshmallows with Snoopy —tg]


Oh! dear to memory are those hours
When every pathway led to flowers;
When sticks of peppermint possessed
A sceptre's power o'er the breast,
And heaven was round us while we fed
On rich ambrosial gingerbread.
~Eliza Cook


Spearmint and peppermint never lose their charm for the palate that still remembers the delights of youth. ~Henry Van Dyke, Fisherman's Luck, 1899


Here is a shop to which the recollections of my boyhood, as well as present partialities, give a peculiar magic. How delightful to let the fancy revel on the dainties of a confectioner; those pies, with such white and flaky paste, their contents being a mystery, whether rich mince, with whole plums intermixed, or piquant apple, delicately rose-flavoured; these cakes, heart-shaped or round, piled in a lofty pyramid; those sweet little circlets, sweetly named kisses; those dark majestic masses, fit to be bridal loaves at the wedding of an heiress, mountains in size, their summits deeply snow-covered with sugar! Then the mighty treasures of sugar-plums, white, and crimson, and yellow, in large glass vases; and candy of all varieties; and those little cockles, or whatever they are called, much prized by children for their sweetness, and more for the mottoes which they inclose, by love-sick maids and bachelors! Oh! my mouth waters... ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, "Little Annie's Ramble," Twice-Told Tales, 1837


PEACHES AND CREAM will convert any man on the face of the earth... ~Josh Billings, revised by H. Montague


Méringue covers a multitude of sins. ~Joe Perkins, 1886


Is it wrong to find life's meaning in a cinnamon roll? ~Keith Wynn, tweet, 2017


Debbie had to get up and slice me a thick piece of cake before she could answer. And I do mean thick. Harry Potter volume seven thick. I could have knocked out a burglar with this piece of cake... Debbie didn't fool around when it came to the butter and sugar. ~Maureen Johnson, "The Jubilee Express," Let It Snow: Three Holiday Romances, 2008


Why do people do drugs when there's cupcakes? ~Keith Wynn, tweet, 2017


We will have two kinds of dessert. Hugs and kisses from mamma, and hugs and kisses from papa... ~Jay Benson Hamilton, "How Santa Claus Made One Dollar Hold Out," 1891


Roasting turkeys! Rich mince pies!
Cakes of every shape and size!
~Louise Bennett Weaver and Helen Cowles LeCron, "December," A Thousand Ways to Please a Husband with Bettina's Best Recipes, 1917


There is no such thing as a bad cake. ~The Good Doctor, "Piece of Cake," 2021, written by Tracy Taylor, David Hoselton, and Tristan Thai  [S5, E2, Lea]


The first year was like icing.
Then the cake started to show through...
~John Ashbery, "More Pleasant Adventures," 1983


Once when I was in Cookie Land
      A-many miles away,
      I went to take a sailing trip
      Upon the Ice-Cream Bay.
The boat it was an apple pie,
      With ginger-snaps for sails;
      But oh! A currant storm arose,
      And cream-puffs grew to gales!
The sea ran high in jelly rolls,
      The breakers dashed whipped cream
      Upon the stern, rocky-candy coast,
      I thought I'd have to scream!
The candy mast fell with a whack,
      The pie-crust cracked in two,
      The sauce-y waves came rushing in,
      I thought,—"What shall I do?"
I found a life preserver then,
      A doughnut fat and round,
      And stuck my head right through the hole,—
      I knew I'd not be drowned.
So then I swam, and swam, and swam,
      Out in the Custard Sea;
      Until a floating island came,
      Convenient as could be.
And there upon that dessert isle
      I lived six years or more,
      Until I'd eaten all the place,
      And thought I'd go ashore.
So first I ate the Custard Sea,
      And next the Ice-Cream Bay;
      Then on the sugar sand I crossed,—
      It was the nicest way.
~Abbie Farwell Brown, "An Adventure," A Pocketful of Posies, 1902


I know a wonderful land, I said,
      Where the skies are always blue,
Where on chocolate drops are the children fed,
      And cocoanut cookies, too...
This land is reached by a wonderful ship
      That sails on a golden tide;
But never a grown-up makes the trip—
      It is only a children's ride...
Oh, you board the ship when the sun goes down,
      And over a gentle sea
You slip away from the noisy town
      To the land of the chocolate tree.
And there, till the sun comes over the hill,
      You frolic and romp and play,
And of candy and cake you eat your fill,
      With no one to tell you "Nay!"...
~Edgar A. Guest, "The Lure That Failed," Just Folks, 1917


Baked myself a Kartoffelkuchen to celebrate, that night, straight from my grandmother's recipe: potatoes and buttermilks and eggs and nutmegs and vanillas, iced it with white frosting and melted bitter chocolate, ate a third of it warm and alone. ~Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever:  a lovestory, 1984


Then he flew to Mrs. North and kissed her over her left eyebrow. "Love be in your heart and the world love you — and your chocolate cake, Rosamond." ~Frances Frost, Then Came Timothy, 1950


Willing to follow
trails of glitter
or cake crumbs.
~Dr. SunWolf, @WordWhispers, tweet, 2015, professorsunwolf.com


No need for all that messed up slicing when one person gets a huge slice of cake and someone else a dilapidated sliver. Cupcakes are the great leveler wherein we are all equals. ~Isa Chandra Moskowitz & Terry Hope Romero, "Cupcakes A to Z," Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, 2006


Cupcakes are utilitarian. No pesky plates and forks to wash afterward. Fewer dishes, more efficiency. ~Isa Chandra Moskowitz & Terry Hope Romero, "Cupcakes A to Z," Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, 2006


Let's face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake has a lot for a lot of people, it does for me… ~Audrey Hepburn, 1971


People who eat a cupcake with a fork should have their citizenship revoked. ~Keith Wynn, tweet, 2017


The difference between a cupcake and a muffin:  cupcakes come topped with an obscene amount of frosting. Muffins are cupcakes that you fool yourself into thinking of as a healthy breakfast food because they do not have a mountain of frosting on top. ~@IQTech61 on GoComics, 2017


Relationship status: just found some icing from a cupcake on my shirt collar  ~Keith Wynn, tweet, 2017


Much Coin, much Care.
Of Saving, cometh Having.
No Pains, no Gains.
Enough is as good as a Feast.
You cannot have your Cake, and eat it too.

~“Band of Hope Lessons,” The Methodist Temperance Magazine, 1882


A dessert without cheese is like a beautiful woman with only one eye. ~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, The Physiology of Taste; or, Transcendental Gastronomy, 1825


If you think the world is a horrible place, then you've never had chocolate cupcakes for breakfast. ~Keith Wynn, tweet, 2017


A full cooky-jar!... that ought to be the symbol of our happy home. May it always be full! ~Louise Bennett Weaver and Helen Cowles LeCron, A Thousand Ways to Please a Husband, 1917


There I was, sleeping peacefully… all of a sudden, I thought I heard a hundred-voice chocolate chip cookie choir calling me… ~Charles Schulz, Peanuts, 1983 (Snoopy)


Basic etiquette: When a cookie calls out to you by name, it’s only polite to answer. ~Sandra Boynton, sandraboynton.com


Invite your melancholy outside for a walk. Or read it a poem. Or bake it chocolate chip cookies. ~Dr. SunWolf, professorsunwolf.com


...those delightful cookies. I do believe I have a big bump for cookies. The first entry made by the recording angel on my behalf was for stealing my mother's cookies. ~Thomas Edison, diary, 1885


Relationship status: eating Oreos in bed  ~Keith Wynn, tweet, 2017


FREDDY:  Tell me a story, grandma.
GRANDMA:  What kind, dearie?
FREDDY:  One that I have to eat cookies to listen to.
~Life, 1922


The day the Thin Mints are delivered to my doorstep should be a national holiday. ~Tony Delgrosso, @Tony_D, tweet, 2016


To me, a caraway cooky is a delectable tid-bit, losing nothing if eaten by itself, but gaining incalculably if nibbled with afternoon tea. Those who do not regard it with joy puzzle me a little, I confess. In what spirit, I ask sadly, do they look upon existence, if a caraway cooky fails to stimulate within them a pious gratitude for the privilege of living? ~Anonymous, "The Philosophy of Tea-Cakes," The Contributors' Club, The Atlantic Monthly, August 1913


I’m no foreign policy expert, but I hypothesize that the key to world peace could very well be a good batch of cookies. ~Keith Wynn, tweet, 2018


Who needs astrology? The wise man gets by on fortune cookies. ~Edward Abbey


Some things can only be understood when you're in a tree house. With a pile of warm chocolate chip cookies. And a book. ~Dr. SunWolf, professorsunwolf.com


You can rig up a house with all manner of things,
      The prayer rugs of sultans and princes and kings;
      You can hang on its walls the old tapestries rare
      Which some dead Egyptian once treasured with care;
      But though costly and gorgeous its furnishings are,
      It must have, to be homelike, an old cookie jar.
There are just a few things that a home must possess,
      Besides all your money and all your success—
      A few good old books which some loved one has read,
      Some trinkets of those whose sweet spirits have fled,
      And then in the pantry, not shoved back too far
      For the hungry to get to, that old cookie jar.
Let the house be a mansion, I care not at all!
      Let the finest of pictures be hung on each wall,
      Let the carpets be made of the richest velour,
      And the chairs only those which great wealth can procure,
      I'd still want to keep for the joy of my flock
      That homey, old-fashioned, well-filled cookie crock.
Like the love of the Mother it shines through our years;
      It has soothed all our hurts and has dried away tears;
      It has paid us for toiling; in sorrow or joy,
      It has always shown kindness to each girl and boy;
      And I'm sorry for people, whoever they are,
      Who live in a house where there's no cookie jar.
~Edgar A. Guest, "The Cookie Jar," When Day Is Done, 1921


Think what a better world it would be if we all — the whole world — had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. ~Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, 1986


I've got a thing inside my head
That's made of tacks and spools of thread,
And little sticks, and wheels, and springs,
And scissors, and all sorts of things.
Besides, it's like a little trap:
When thoughts come in, I hear it snap!...
It's like Dad's typewriter machine,
With clocks, and such things, in between.
It's something like his cam'ra, too;
And like my paints—red, green, and blue.
It ticks out thoughts and ticks 'em in,
As fast as all the wheels can spin...
Guess what it's just been telling me?
It said I must go quietly
And find that great, big, heavy jar—
The one where all the cookies are.
~Julian Street, "The Think-box," c.1909


Chocolate chips are about as iconic a cookie ingredient as one can get. ~Isa Chandra Moskowitz & Terry Hope Romero, Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar, 2009


This website uses cookies. Please check your keyboard for chocolate chips. ~Andy Lee, 2013


Relationship status: just winked at a plate of chocolate chip cookies ~Keith Wynn, tweet, 2017


      Have you one of things inside of you, which snaps when you are too wicked?...
      Sometimes men in the magazines or in the movies are the sort who work themselves to death... Again and again, their doctors tell them that they must not work so hard. But they are such demons for work that they just will not quit... Then one bright day—
      Something inside them seems to snap!
      You will now recall thousands of instances, I am sure, in which magazine and movie heroes have gone just so far and then (almost after it was too late), have been saved by the fortunate interior snap of which I speak. It always comes just in the nick of time.
      Perhaps you, like I, have regarded it as all bosh. I confess I have regarded it as all bosh. I thought it was just a trick by which writers loosened their heroes from impossible situations. I really did. That is, until I had my own experience, which I will tell you about.
      Now I was a ginger cookie fiend. I was perhaps one of the worst ginger cookie fiends in pathological history. I would eat ginger cookies by the bagful. Time and time again, my wife used to bring a large pan of ginger cookies to my study, and I would eat the entire panful at one sitting, and beg her for more. I was my wife's first husband, so she thought nothing about my appetite for ginger cookies; she merely thought that any other husband would have acted similarly if given such perfect ginger cookies.
      It was not until I took to barking like a dog, when the pan was empty, that my wife became alarmed and realized that my case was peculiar. She afterwards confessed to me that she consulted specialists.
      I became worse and worse. I recall that one day I ate 3,451 ginger cookies. I had little time for anything else. My habit was interfering with my golf. I became exceedingly nervous. Finally, I, myself, consulted a doctor. He simply said: "Too much ginger. You will have to cut out ginger."
      But I paid no attention to him.
      Then, one day, after I had eaten an entire crate of ginger cookies...
      Something inside of me seemed to snap!
      You may think I am merely trying to end my story, but it is the truth. I snapped. I have already said that I used to bark — but now I snapped. And I snapped not outside, but inside!
      I knew immediately that I had eaten my last ginger cookie. Since that moment I have never had the least desire for a ginger cookie. It is strange, I know, but I haven't.
      I only tell my story that others may be helped by it. If you have any bad habits, do not give them up. Just go along, and some day something inside of you will seem to snap. ~Don Herold, "Something Seemed to Snap," So Human, 1924  [Better title for this essay would've been "Ginger Snap." —tg]





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