The Quote Garden
 “I dig old books.”
 Est. 1998

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Quotations about College

Related Quotes      Off to College      Graduation      Learning      Education

NOTE:  Some of the quotes on this page were submitted to me by visitors, and not all have been verified for original source or wording. I'm working hard to confirm everything, but in the meantime please be aware of the possibility for errors.  —ღ Terri, March 2021

Academe, n.:  An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.  Academy, n.:  A modern school where football is taught.  ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

At the end of college a diploma is handed to us and the dark waters of what we don't know surge over our heads... From the dozens of paths which lead out from the acropolis of the college we choose and without quite knowing why we take it — It is like a jump off a diving board, in the first confusion and strangeness of the world under water... Education can only be proven a success if it enables you to strike out under your own power and swim. ~Althea Warren (1886–1958)

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students.  ~John Ciardi

Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities:  the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.  ~Abbott Lawrence Lowell

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.  ~Theodore Roosevelt

If you have a college degree you can be absolutely sure of one thing... you have a college degree.  ~Author Unknown

If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you. ~Robert Goheen

It takes most men five years to recover from a college education, and to learn that poetry is as vital to thinking as knowledge. ~Brooks Atkinson, Once Around the Sun, 1951

I've never been away to school, but last year a young woman came who had been... in college two years, and she wore herself out... She was very nice and knew a great deal about dead and gone people, and the changes of the earth in all the thousands of years it has been going... ~Amanda M. Douglas, In the Sherburne Line, 1907

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep. ~W.H. Auden  [And preachers and lecturers, and earlier authors, &c. See —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]

The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving.  ~Russell Green

If you're filthy rich, sending your kids to college makes a wonderful soap. ~Robert Orben, 2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches, 1984

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D.  Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.  ~"Fats" Domino

Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or they didn't.  ~L.L. Hendren

College is the best time of your life.  When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?  ~David Wood

A liberal education... frees a man from the prison-house of his class, race, time, place, background, family and even his nation.  ~Robert Maynard Hutchins

A college education shows a man how little other people know.  ~Thomas Chandler Haliburton

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another. ~J. Frank Dobie

College is a great experience and exposes you to a lot of things you might not otherwise learn or experience. You learn to evaluate things, think for yourself, and become a more independent person. Even if you decide not to use your specific degree, college can never be a waste of money if you get something important out of it. Your degree is like money in the bank; it opens up a lot of opportunities for you. ~Steven D. Woodhull (b.1976, U.S. geologist), "Tuition," 1999

The primary purpose of a liberal education is to make one's mind a pleasant place in which to spend one's leisure. ~Sydney J. Harris

I recall snatches of Homer's and Virgil's rhymes of the deep — about the only thing that I carried away from my college life. How stuffy and narrow it seems now! It gave me friends, and taught me how to learn. Perhaps it is enough for a girl. ~Laura L. Livingstone (Herbert Dickinson Ward), Lauriel: The Love Letters of an American Girl, 1901

Mandy Baxter: I'm loving college.... "Cogito, ergo sum."
Mike Baxter: Twenty-five grand so she can figure out whether she exists or not.
~Kevin Hench , Last Man Standing, "Back to School" [S1, E3, 2013]

I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms — Truman's and Eisenhower's. ~Alex Karras  [Ha! I was in college through three presidential terms — George H. W. Bush and both of Bill Clinton's, yet came out with only a four-year degree. Yikes! —tg]

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.  ~Elbert Hubbard

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.  ~George Gobel

A liberal-arts education is supposed to provide you with a value system, a standard, a set of ideas, not a job.  ~Caroline Bird

I learned three important things in college - to use a library, to memorize quickly and visually, to drop asleep at any time given a horizontal surface and fifteen minutes.  ~Agnes DeMille, Dance to the Piper, 1952

The new appears as a minority point of view, and hence is unpopular. The function of a university is to give it a sanctuary. ~Martin H. Fischer

I have a degree in liberal arts.  Do you want fries with that?  ~Author unknown, as seen on a T-shirt

Hitler destroyed the German university with design; we destroyed ours without. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)

No man should escape our universities without knowing how little he knows.  ~J. Robert Oppenheimer

Why is it that colleges never give practical courses, like Laundromat 101? ~Robert Orben, 2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches, 1984

The purpose of primary education is the development of your weak characteristics; the purpose of university education, the development of your strong. ~Nevin Fenneman

I am not impressed by the Ivy League establishments.  Of course they graduate the best - it's all they'll take, leaving to others the problem of educating the country.  They will give you an education the way the banks will give you money - provided you can prove to their satisfaction that you don't need it.  ~Peter DeVries

Standardization is the fertilizer of college education. A little may be useful, but flowers do not grow in pure manure. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)

The purpose of a liberal education is to make you philosophical enough to accept the fact that you will never make much money.  ~Author Unknown

The elective system offered a bewildering freedom of choice, leaving some graduates with the impression that they had nibbled at dozens of canapés of knowledge and never had their fill.  ~Ted Morgan

Even an ass can die with a degree. All it takes is four years and four thousand dollars. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)

The quality of a university is measured more by the kind of student it turns out than the kind it takes in. ~Robert J. Kibbee

Every year American colleges and universities graduate a few million liberal arts majors and it's really upgrading our way of life. You don't know what a thrill it is to see your kid filling out an unemployment form in Latin. ~Robert Orben, 2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches, 1984

A place where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.  ~Robert G. Ingersoll

A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000.  ~Leonard L. Levinson

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