The Quote Garden

 I dig old books.

 Est. 1998

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Quotations about Mondays

Welcome to my page of quotations about Monday, that most blah of days of the week. Help yourself to a nice pick-me-up or a little laugh to cure those Monday blues.   SEE ALSO:  TUE–WED–THU FRIDAYS SATURDAYS SUNDAYS WEEKENDS  –ღTerri

Monday. The cruelest month. ~Eric Jarosinski, @NeinQuarterly, tweet, 2015

I love Saturday, I love Sunday,
but how could anyone ever love Monday?...
~Ogden Nash, "We'll All Feel Better by Wednesday," Versus, 1949

...Mondays are all hereby suspended until and subject to further orders of the United States... ~H. A. Garfield, 1918  [I've extracted this from its original context to make it into a joke quote. It originally referred to the U. S. Fuel Administration's "heatless Monday" rules. —tg]

Life is described by a scientist as the metabolic activity of protoplasm. It often seems even worse than that on a Monday morning. ~Anonymous, 1920s

Monday Morning, fair or bleak,
Holds the Key to all the Week.
~Arthur Guiterman, "Of Days," A Poet's Proverbs, 1924

Since no Mondays are Tuesdays, the Mondays which are Tuesdays are also Fridays. ~John B. Watson, "Image and Affection in Behavior," 1913

You say right, sir; a Monday morning; twas so indeed. ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet, c.1600  [II, 2, Hamlet]

Monday is a lame way to spend 1/7 of your life. ~Author unknown

How are Mondays even still legal? ~Keith Wynn, @ravens_rhapsody, tweet, 2017

In mist Monday
A giant ship stopped on a soundless,
Sightless sea.
~James Oppenheim

...Mondays are peculiarly appropriated to the confraternities of the souls in purgatory. ~G. D. Emerline, "Festivals and Confraternities," Frauds of Papal Ecclesiastics, 1835

Thank God for our fun days;
Thank God for our Mondays!
Let's not mope and be sad,
Let's rejoice and be glad!
~William Arthur Ward, "Be Glad!"

Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code. ~Dan Salomon, unverified

Monday is the day that everything starts all over again,
Monday is the day when just as you are beginning to feel peaceful you have to get up and get dressed and put on your old gray bonnet and drive down to Dover again,
It is the day when life becomes grotesque again,
Because it is the day when you have to face your desk again...
~Ogden Nash (1902–1971), "Every Day Is Monday"

The only thing that has to be finished by next Tuesday is next Monday. ~Jennifer Yane, unverified

That which is stolen from God on Sunday is given to the devil on Monday. ~James Lendall Basford, Seven Seventy Seven Sensations, 1897

Wednesdays are like Mondays in the middle of the week! ~Lee Fox Williams, unverified

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and yet Friday is so near to Monday? ~Internet meme

Monday — Meh-day. ~Terri Guillemets, "But, Ralph!," 2005

Thank you, dear coffee, for making Mondays feel a little less… Monday. ~Keith Wynn, @ravens_rhapsody, tweet, 2017

Work on Monday?! My mind is telling me no, but my wallet says yes. ~Internet meme

It's Monday. Grab some coffee and be awesome! ~Internet meme

Five snoozes into your Monday alarm clock and you wonder if the $36 in your account will last the rest of your life if you quit. ~Author unknown

Let's make a scientific analysis,
Let's diagnose this Monday paralysis...
What you do on week ends, you claim to adore it.
But Monday's the day that you suffer for it.
~Ogden Nash, "We'll All Feel Better by Wednesday," Versus, 1949

If Monday were a cup of coffee, it would be decaf. ~Keith Wynn, @ravens_rhapsody, tweet, 2017

The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning. ~Sandy Cooley

Look at the bright side — at least Mondays only happen once a week. ~Author unknown

If each day is a gift, I'd like to know where to return Mondays. ~John Wagner

What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays? Unemployed. ~Author unknown

If Monday were an animal, it would be a mosquito. ~Keith Wynn, @ravens_rhapsody, tweet, 2017

I hate January, it's the Monday of months. ~Author unknown

Monday! ha, ha! ~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, c.1594  [III, 4, Capulet]

I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. ~John Waters, "Things I Hate," interview with Jon Winokur, in Return of the Portable Curmudgeon, 1995

Monday is brought to you by the letters F and U. ~Internet meme à la Sesame Street

Dear Monday: I've met someone else. ~Keith Wynn, @ravens_rhapsody, tweet, 2017

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