The Quote Garden ™

 I dig old books. ™

 Est. 1998

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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. ~Fran Lebowitz


I have reached an age when love, ambition and wealth pale into insignificance beside a really well-grilled steak. ~W. Somerset Maugham, Lady Frederick, 1907


The sober-hued turkey is a more valuable fowl than the gaudy peacock. Beauty is only skin deep, while edibility extends to the bone. ~"Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy," The Saturday Evening Post, 1903, George Horace Lorimer, editor


Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak. ~Woody Allen


Bertie:  They say fish are good for the brain. Have a go at the sardines and come back and report...
Bertie, later:  How many tins of sardines did you eat, Jeeves?
Jeeves:  None, sir. I am not fond of sardines.
Bertie:  You mean, you thought of this great, this ripe, this amazing scheme entirely without the impetus given to the brain by fish?
Jeeves:  Yes, sir.
~P. G. Wodehouse, "Jeeves and the Dog McIntosh," Very Good, Jeeves!, 1929


I take a vitamin every day. It's called a steak. ~Leo Benvenuti and Steve Rudnick, Kicking & Screaming, 2005, spoken by the character Buck Weston


RARE. The way you get roast beef when you order it well done. ~Noah Lott (George V. Hobart), The Silly Syclopedia, 1905


Stored away in some brain cell is the image of a long-departed aunt you haven't thought of in 30 years. Stored away in another cell is the image of a pink pony stitched on your first set of baby pajamas. All it takes to get that aunt mounted on the back of that pony is to eat a hunk of meatloaf immediately before going to bed. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com  [Oh, Mr. Brault! This quote makes me LOL every single time I read it. —tg]


They had a good slice of lean ham with a border of fat that shone like a piece of ice from a spring. ~Jean Giono (1895–1970), Regain, 1930, translated from the French by Henri Fluchè and Geoffrey Myers, Harvest, 1939


There are certain things in this world that seem to go together, just as natural as if they were born for each other, and HAM and EGGS are two of them. Although they come from different localities, they must be twins, for they are so often seen together. ~Josh Billings, revised by H. Montague


He gave us a ham in flip-flops. On his feet, not on the ham. ~Tom Hanks, "A Month on Greene Street," Uncommon Type: Some Stories, 2017


You know how I feel about tacos. It's the only food shaped like a smile. A beef smile. ~My Name is Earl, "South of the Border: Part Uno," 2006, written by Danielle Sanchez-Witzel & Michael Pennie  [Season 2. Earl Hickey. –tg]


Yeah, where I come from, we eat our sushi cooked — medium rare. And it's made out of a cow. ~John Henson, Wipeout, "Totally, Totally Inappropriate," 2010  [S3, E13]


Fish should smell like the tide. Once they smell like fish, it's too late. ~Oscar Gizelt


There is something marvelous about returning home at the end of a long day, even if there is tuna fish for dinner. ~Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid, 2007


I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good — if it's the pepper or the oni. ~S. A. Sachs, 2007


I will not eat oysters. They're alive when you eat them. I want my food dead — not sick, not wounded — dead. ~Woody Allen, Don't Drink the Water, 1966


He was a bold man that first ate an oyster. ~Jonathan Swift  [a little altered —tg]


Everybody is food. We forget that basic fact of life, don't we? Every thing is food... You could eat anybody or anything to survive. You think you won't but you will... You will eat the meat, folks, because it's a decision not to eat meat. It's an instinct to want it. ~Denis Leary, No Cure for Cancer, 1990


You make me sick! You are offered meat and you choose a banana-split-with-nuts. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)


It was a little four-roomed cottage where the boy lived, and his mother — good soul! — gave us hot bacon for supper, and we ate it all — five pounds — and a jam tart afterwards, and two pots of tea, and then we went to bed. ~Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog), 1889


Doctors confuse color and chemistry. The white meat of chicken is therefore the essence of a light diet and dark meat is poison. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)


...and then give them
great meals of beef and iron and steel, they will
eat like wolves and fight like devils.
~William Shakespeare, Henry V, c.1598  [III, 7, Constable of France]


If you are a human being, it's in your DNA to want bacon. ~Jan Charles, Restaurant Express, "Battle by the Beach," 2013


FORK, n.  An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth. ~Ambrose Bierce


Asses, fools, dolts! chaff and bran, chaff and bran! porridge after meat! ~William Shakespeare, Troilus and Cressida, c.1601  [I, 2, Pandarus]


Pollyanna was carrying calf's-foot jelly to Mrs. Snow to-day... If it's Monday she's bound ter say she wished 'twas Sunday; and if you take her jelly you're pretty sure ter hear she wanted chicken — but if you did bring her chicken, she'd be jest hankerin' for lamb broth!... or... tripe, or onions... ~Eleanor H. Porter, Pollyanna, 1912  #offal  #paleo

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