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 Est. 1998

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Quotations about Men


In man thought and will prevail, and a desire for liberty and honor. He must act and work, toil and labor, and can preserve his dignity and standing in the world only by acting from principles and clear comprehensions. ~Frederick A. Rauch, "Of Man," Psychology; or, A View of the Human Soul: Including Anthropology, Being the Substance of a Course of Lectures, Delivered to the Junior Class Marshall College, Penn., 1840

You keep asking what it means to be a man, and the truth is, there's not just one way. Every morning you get up there's a thousand chances to do the right thing, be a good man. Hopefully you get most of them right; you're not gonna get all of them right. ~The Middle, "The Man Hunt" [S7, E16, 2016], written by Roy Brown, spoken by the character Mike Heck to Brick Heck

A single Man.... is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. ~Benjamin Franklin, letter, 1745 June 25th

The gyms you go to are crowded with guys trying to look like men, as if being a man means looking the way a sculptor or an art director says. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, 1996

How beautiful maleness is, if it finds its right expression. ~D. H. Lawrence, "Cagliari," Sea and Sardinia, 1921  ["And how perfectly ridiculous it is made in modern clothes." —tg]

We men are such hard, inconsiderate pieces of old granite... ~Frederick W. Robinson, Wildflower, 1857

I had never thought about gender before. I was a few years shy of puberty, young enough that I played with the boys at recess and thought nothing of it. While the girls sat in the shade, making friendship bracelets or playing clapping games — hands flashing, voices chanting — the boys ran for all they were worth across the field. I preferred their company, the full-body physicality of their games. Boys seemed simpler than girls — not dumber, exactly, but less intricately calibrated. Unlike my sisters, unlike my girlfriends, the boys I knew seemed to have only one feeling at a time, a single strong emotion vibrating like the note of a tuning fork. ~Abby Geni, The Wildlands, 2018

If it can't be fixed by duct tape or WD-40, it's a female problem. ~Jason Love

In the mouths of many men soft words are like roses that soldiers put into the muzzles of their muskets on holidays. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807–1882), "Drift Wood, A Collection of Essays: Table-Talk," Prose Works of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 1857

Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It's the men who are discriminated against. They can't bear children. And no one's likely to do anything about that. ~Golda Meir, 1972

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his. ~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest: A Trivial Comedy for Serious People, 1895

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that their behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. ~Francesca M. Cancian

The one thing I envy in woman — The right to own when she's afraid. ~Charles Searle, Look Here!, 1885

...women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. ~Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1893

In the absence of ideal men the market for real men continues active. ~"Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy," The Saturday Evening Post, 1903, George Horace Lorimer, editor

Manhood, and not manners, captivates the true woman; she cannot resist it. ~Simeon Carter (1824–1911), Poems and Aphorisms: A Woodman's Musings, 1893

The longer you keep a man feelin' like he's on a red-hot stove the better he loves you... ~Kate Trimble Sharber (b.1883), The Annals of Ann, 1910

[T]rain — acquire for yourself firm fibres, a stomach clear and capable, the brain-action unabused, the stream of vital power full and voluminous, a bright eye, a strong voice, a proper degree of flesh, a transparent complexion — a fine average yet plus condition; and sympathy, attraction, and a heroic presence will follow. Are these trifles? Not a bit of it. They lie close to the heart of a man, and are among his secret, most cherished aspirations. With men, with women, with friends, with strangers, who is there that does not crave to be admired, to be beloved? ~Mose Velsor (Walt Whitman), "Manly Health and Training," New York Atlas, 1858 October 10th  ["To teach the Science of a Sound and Beautiful Body." Thanks, Zachary Turpin! —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]

Gentleman — An animal of the male sex so rare, that little or nothing is known for certain regarding him. ~Charles Searle, Look Here!, 1885

I know many married men; I even know a few happily married men; but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal-hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink. ~George Jean Nathan (1882–1958)

He's a male man, my dear. If you want him to have an even higher idea of your genius than he has already, tell him — tell him you owe it all to him. ~May Sinclair, "The Gift," 1908

Women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size. ~Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. ~Jerry Seinfeld

Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. ~Robert Byrne, The Third — and Possibly the Best — 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said, 1986

Men are not people. We are disgustoids in human form. ~Coupling, "The Girl with Two Breasts," original airdate 9 June 2000, written by Steven Moffat, spoken by the character Jeff

Boys will be boys — and so will a lot of middle-aged men. ~Kin Hubbard

Alas! it is not the child, but the boy that generally survives in the man. ~Arthur Helps, Thoughts in the Cloister and the Crowd, 1835

...the man's soul, lonely, self-reliant though it were, yet sometimes needed the woman's aid. ~Elizabeth Godfrey (Jessie Bedford), The Winding Road, 1902

It may be that most men do not care how they look, so long as they do not look ridiculous, and their conception of looking ridiculous is that they should look different from anybody else. ~Robert Lynd, "Beaver," 1922

The women are tired of their job and the men are too proud to do it unless the window shades are pulled down. I don't blame men for being proud. They have something to be proud of, for they can do exactly as they please, from wearing out the seats of their trousers when they're little to being president when they're big. ~Kate Trimble Sharber (b.1883), The Annals of Ann, 1910

Well, I will find you
twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.
~William Shakespeare, Merry Wives of Windsor, c.1600  [II, 1, Mistress Page]

"What ho, daughter," said he. "Hast thou shagged a fool?"
"Methinks any wench who shags a man hath shagged a fool, Father."
~Christopher Moore, Fool, 2009  [Lear & Goneril —tg]

What's the matter with you guys? The sight of blonde hair knocks you three rungs down on the evolutionary ladder. ~Civil Wars, early 1990s

Imagine what will happen to this nation if large numbers of American women start using the Wonderbra. It will be catastrophic. The male half of the population will be nothing but mindless drooling Zombies of Lust. Granted, this is also true now, but it will be even worse. ~Dave Barry

What do we get who meddle with men?
Only a minute's thrill and then
A grief that lasts our whole life through:
That's what I got. Didn't you?...
~Mary Carolyn Davies, "Men," Marriage Songs, 1923

The analysis of man discloses three chemical elements — a job, a meal and a woman. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)

Most men are two men — when they aren't three or four. ~Reginald Wright Kauffman, "Talking Like a Real Man," 1922

It is the kind of toys that differentiates old age from infancy. ~"Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy," The Saturday Evening Post, 1903, George Horace Lorimer, editor

The only difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys. ~Author unknown

Men feel that women somehow drag them down, and women feel that way about men. It's possible that both are right. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1963

I like naked women. I'm a bloke. I'm supposed to like them. We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one.... When man invented fire, he didn't say, "Hey, let's cook." He said, "Great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark"... The story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. ~Coupling, "Inferno," original airdate 2000 June 2nd, written by Steven Moffat, spoken by the character Steve

Men have braved the torments of death for a glance from a woman's eye... ~William Ellis, 1904

Many a bachelor could be lured into society if someone would start sewing-on button parties. ~Mary Wilson Little, Reveries of a Paragrapher, 1897

Women are the right age for just a few years; men, for most of their lives. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1963

Our French professor is simply a duck. His moustache would give you kerwollops of the heart. ~L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables (Josie)

Stop? I'm the guy. I don't stop! That's the woman's job. We're the gas, they're the brakes. ~Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel, EDtv, 1999

I'm a babe magnet — but the wrong end. ~Author unknown

Nothing is forever, if you have enough power tools. ~S. A. Sachs, "Security & Force," 2013

'Tis strange what a man may do, and a woman yet think him an angel. ~William Makepeace Thackeray, The History of Henry Esmond, Esq., 1852

You know, I have never understood the male obsession with lesbianism — a whole area of sex with nothing for them to do. Just answered my own question, haven't I? ~Coupling, "Inferno," original airdate 2 June 2000, written by Steven Moffat, spoken by the character Sally

Men are unpleasant-looking creatures. They have hairy faces and long feet. ~Robert Lynd, "Dresses," Solomon in All His Glory, 1923

So women began going to work, and now nobody does housework... The obvious and fair solution to this problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything. ~Dave Barry, "A Solution to Housework," Dave Barry's Bad Habits: A 100% Fact-free Book, 1987  [Essay was originally published in 1982 or 1983. —tg]

Many men believe that to be manly, a man shouldn't show any feelings, so a big strong man isn't supposed to cry, to feel hurt, to be scared, to need help, or to feel lonesome. Trying to be a big strong man is like trying to be King Kong. You have to pretend not to be human! ~Pat Palmer (1928–2015), Liking Myself, 1977

There are lots of men in this world, just like a BRAGGING ROOSTER. Take off his spears and tail feathers, and I'll be hanged if you could tell one of him from a hen. ~Josh Billings, revised by H. Montague

This, of course, is rubbish, as are most of the things we say about the sexes. ~Robert Lynd, "Dresses," Solomon in All His Glory, 1923

Men are the devil — that's one thing sure.
      Close your windows and lock your door,
      Shut your eyes and shake your head.
      Get your fun somewhere else, she said.
Men are the devil — they all bring woe.
      In winter it's easy to say just "No."
      Men are the devil, that's one sure thing,
      But what are you going to do in spring?
~Mary Carolyn Davies, "Men Are the Devil," Marriage Songs, 1923

Male nipples:  Borrowed jewelry for a chest that is too flat. ~Lucy Ellmann, "How Everything Wrong with the World is Men's Fault," Man or Mango?, 1998

N is for Nipples
Which infants hold dear;
Why fellows should have them
To me's not quite clear.
~Cyril Barnert, M.D., "The A. B. C. of Surgery," 1917

      PUDENDA, the Privy Parts.
      PENIS, (in Anat.) a Man's Yard, a nervous and skinny Part, well furnish'd with Veins and Arteries, and containing the Canal of the Ureters.
      PENIS CEREBRI, a part of the Brain otherwise call'd Conarium and Glandula Pinealis.
      CYNODESMUS, (in Anat.) the band which ties the little Skin of the Penis to the Glans, or Nut.
      FRÆNULUM or FRÆNUM PENIS, a Membrane or thin Skin, which ties the Fore-skin to the lower part of the Glans, or Nut of the Yard.
      GLANDULÆ ODORIFERÆ, certain small Glandules discovered by Dr. Tyson, in that part of the Penis or Yard where the Præputium is joyn'd to the Balanus, and he gives them this Name from the great scent which their separated Liquor sends forth.
      ERECTORES PENIS, (in Anat.) a pair of Muscles that arise from the outward knob of the Os Ischium, and help to cause the Erection of the Yard.
      SPERMA, (Gr.) Sperm, the Seed of any Living-Creature.
      SPERMATICAL or SPERMATICK, belonging to, or full of sperm.
      SPERMATICK PARTS AND VESSELS, (in Anat.) are those Arteries and Veins, which convey the Blood to the Testicles; also those Vessels thro' which the Seed passes; also all whitish Parts of the Body, which by reason of their Colour, were anciently thought to be made of the Seed; as Bones, Sinews, Gristles, &c.
      To SPERMATIZE, to eject or throw out Sperm.
~The New World of Words: Universal English Dictionary, or Compleat Glossography, compiled by Edward Phillips, Gent., seventh edition, revised by John Kersey, philobiblist, 1720

A penial bone is found in many animals. Man ought to have it, but he has lost it in the course of ages, and this is doubtless fortunate, for a permanent rigidity, or one too easily obtained would have increased, to madness, the salacity of his species. ~Remy de Gourmont, The Natural Philosophy of Love, 1900, translated by Ezra Pound, 1922  [a little altered —tg]

I wonder why men can get serious at all. They have this delicate long thing hanging outside their bodies, which goes up and down by its own will. First of all having it outside your body is terribly dangerous... Second, the inconsistency of it, like carrying a chance time alarm or something. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself. Humour is probably something the male of the species discovered through their own anatomy. ~Yoko Ono

...through the magic of the human body, where everything connects — except sometimes penis and mind... ~The Great, "Sweden," 2023, written by Tony McNamara, Ava Pickett, Constance Cheng, and Maisie Parker, based on the 2008 play by Tony McNamara, said by the character Peter III  [S3, E5, Hulu]

As much as I love my dick the universe does not dance to its whim. How is this hard for some guys to understand? ~@AnonymousVoyeur, tweet, 2010 is the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like:  naked women, stockings, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond, because that is what being a boy is. ~Coupling, "Inferno," original airdate 2 June 2000, written by Steven Moffat, spoken by the character Steve

When it comes to hiding porn, every man is a CIA agent. ~S. A. Sachs, 2003

For in spite of the convention which women sedulously foster and even sometimes believe, man is not by nature a domestic animal. He has been partially tamed by centuries of restraint, his spirit has been broken by the manifold burdens laid upon him; for generation after generation, all the pillars of society have struggled to convince him that the greatest blessings he can hope to win in this world are a wife and children and that his highest privilege is to labour to support them; all the forces of law, of civilization, of public opinion, have conspired to hobble, shackle and coerce him. And yet, in spite of everything, he sometimes manages to break loose; while few women suspect what moments of desperation often overwhelm even the meekest father of a family. ~Burton E. Stevenson, The Kingmakers, "Chapter XIX: Selden Takes an Inventory," 1922

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