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Quotations about Men


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In man thought and will prevail, and a desire for liberty and honor. He must act and work, toil and labor, and can preserve his dignity and standing in the world only by acting from principles and clear comprehensions. ~Frederick A. Rauch, "Of Man," Psychology; or, A View of the Human Soul: Including Anthropology, Being the Substance of a Course of Lectures, Delivered to the Junior Class Marshall College, Penn., 1840


You keep asking what it means to be a man, and the truth is, there's not just one way. Every morning you get up there's a thousand chances to do the right thing, be a good man. Hopefully you get most of them right; you're not gonna get all of them right. ~The Middle, "The Man Hunt" [S7, E16, 2016], written by Roy Brown, spoken by the character Mike Heck to Brick Heck


A single Man.... is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. ~Benjamin Franklin, letter, 1745 June 25th


How beautiful maleness is, if it finds its right expression. ~D. H. Lawrence, "Cagliari," Sea and Sardinia, 1921  ["And how perfectly ridiculous it is made in modern clothes." —tg]


I had never thought about gender before. I was a few years shy of puberty, young enough that I played with the boys at recess and thought nothing of it. While the girls sat in the shade, making friendship bracelets or playing clapping games — hands flashing, voices chanting — the boys ran for all they were worth across the field. I preferred their company, the full-body physicality of their games. Boys seemed simpler than girls — not dumber, exactly, but less intricately calibrated. Unlike my sisters, unlike my girlfriends, the boys I knew seemed to have only one feeling at a time, a single strong emotion vibrating like the note of a tuning fork. ~Abby Geni, The Wildlands, 2018


If it can't be fixed by duct tape or WD-40, it's a female problem. ~Jason Love


In the mouths of many men soft words are like roses that soldiers put into the muzzles of their muskets on holidays. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807–1882), "Drift Wood, A Collection of Essays: Table-Talk," Prose Works of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 1857


Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It's the men who are discriminated against. They can't bear children. And no one's likely to do anything about that. ~Golda Meir, 1972


All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his. ~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest: A Trivial Comedy for Serious People, 1895


Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that their behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. ~Francesca M. Cancian


The one thing I envy in woman — The right to own when she's afraid. ~Charles Searle, Look Here!, 1885


...women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. ~Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1893


Manhood, and not manners, captivates the true woman; she cannot resist it. ~Simeon Carter (1824–1911), Poems and Aphorisms: A Woodman's Musings, 1893


[T]rain — acquire for yourself firm fibres, a stomach clear and capable, the brain-action unabused, the stream of vital power full and voluminous, a bright eye, a strong voice, a proper degree of flesh, a transparent complexion — a fine average yet plus condition; and sympathy, attraction, and a heroic presence will follow. Are these trifles? Not a bit of it. They lie close to the heart of a man, and are among his secret, most cherished aspirations. With men, with women, with friends, with strangers, who is there that does not crave to be admired, to be beloved? ~Mose Velsor (Walt Whitman), "Manly Health and Training," New York Atlas, 1858 October 10th  ["To teach the Science of a Sound and Beautiful Body." Thanks, Zachary Turpin! —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]


Gentleman — An animal of the male sex so rare, that little or nothing is known for certain regarding him. ~Charles Searle, Look Here!, 1885


I know many married men; I even know a few happily married men; but I don't know one who wouldn't fall down the first open coal-hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink. ~George Jean Nathan (1882–1958)


Women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size. ~Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own


Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. ~Jerry Seinfeld


Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. ~Robert Byrne, The Third and Possibly the Best 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said, 1986


Well, I will find you
twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.
~William Shakespeare, Merry Wives of Windsor  [II, 1, Mistress Page]


Boys will be boys — and so will a lot of middle-aged men. ~Kin Hubbard


Alas! it is not the child, but the boy that generally survives in the man. ~Arthur Helps, Thoughts in the Cloister and the Crowd, 1835


"What ho, daughter," said he. "Hast thou shagged a fool?"
"Methinks any wench who shags a man hath shagged a fool, Father."
~Christopher Moore, Fool, 2009  [Lear & Goneril —tg]


What's the matter with you guys? The sight of blonde hair knocks you three rungs down on the evolutionary ladder. ~Civil Wars, early 1990s


Imagine what will happen to this nation if large numbers of American women start using the Wonderbra. It will be catastrophic. The male half of the population will be nothing but mindless drooling Zombies of Lust. Granted, this is also true now, but it will be even worse. ~Dave Barry


The analysis of man discloses three chemical elements — a job, a meal and a woman. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)


The only difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys. ~Author unknown


Men feel that women somehow drag them down, and women feel that way about men. It's possible that both are right. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


I like naked women. I'm a bloke. I'm supposed to like them. We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one.... When man invented fire, he didn't say, "Hey, let's cook." He said, "Great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark"... The story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. ~Coupling, "Inferno," original airdate 2000 June 2nd, written by Steven Moffat, spoken by the character Steve


Many a bachelor could be lured into society if someone would start sewing-on button parties. ~Mary Wilson Little, Reveries of a Paragrapher, 1897


Women are the right age for just a few years; men, for most of their lives. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Our French professor is simply a duck. His moustache would give you kerwollops of the heart. ~L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables (Josie)


Stop? I'm the guy. I don't stop! That's the woman's job. We're the gas, they're the brakes. ~Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel, EDtv, 1999


I'm a babe magnet — but the wrong end. ~Author unknown


Nothing is forever, if you have enough power tools. ~S. A. Sachs, "Security & Force," 2013


'Tis strange what a man may do, and a woman yet think him an angel. ~William Makepeace Thackeray, The History of Henry Esmond, Esq., 1852


So women began going to work, and now nobody does housework... The obvious and fair solution to this problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they'd never clean anything. ~Dave Barry, "A Solution to Housework," Dave Barry's Bad Habits: A 100% Fact-free Book, 1987  [Essay was originally published in 1982 or 1983. —tg]


When it comes to hiding porn, every man is a CIA agent. ~S. A. Sachs, 2003


For in spite of the convention which women sedulously foster and even sometimes believe, man is not by nature a domestic animal. He has been partially tamed by centuries of restraint, his spirit has been broken by the manifold burdens laid upon him; for generation after generation, all the pillars of society have struggled to convince him that the greatest blessings he can hope to win in this world are a wife and children and that his highest privilege is to labour to support them; all the forces of law, of civilization, of public opinion, have conspired to hobble, shackle and coerce him. And yet, in spite of everything, he sometimes manages to break loose; while few women suspect what moments of desperation often overwhelm even the meekest father of a family. ~Burton E. Stevenson, The Kingmakers, "Chapter XIX: Selden Takes an Inventory," 1922



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