The Quote Garden

 I dig old books.

 Est. 1998

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Quotations about Beer!


Oh Beer! Oh Hodgson, Guinness, Allsop, Bass!
Names that should be on every infant's tongue!
Shall days and months and years and centuries pass,
And still your merits be unrecked, unsung?
~Charles Stuart Calverley, "Beer," Verses and Translations, 1862

Some leave footprints on the sands of time — others leave beer cans. ~Arnold H. Glasow (1905–1999)

And sometimes I think it is really better, if you have to choose, to drink beer out of an earthen pot and be kind and gentle, than to have a sharp nose for other folk's faults and be continually trying to pinch and prod the old world into the straight and narrow path of virtue. ~Elbert Hubbard, "Sebastian Bach," Little Journeys to the Homes of Great Musicians, 1901

And thereof comes the proverb: 'Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale.' ~William Shakespeare, Two Gentlemen of Verona, c.1594  [III, 1, Launce]

Beware, froth is not beer. ~Danish proverb, quoted in Henry G. Bohn, A Polyglot of Foreign Proverbs, comprising French, Italian, German, Dutch, Spanish, Portuguese, and Danish, with English Translations, 1857

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. ~Dave Barry

Cold beer & pizza are spiritual. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon, @wildthyme, tweet, 2008,

[Charlie] Bamforth decried beer's sometimes dicey image: "Beer is perceived as a bad-boy drink... And wine is perceived somehow as being superior and speaking to a higher quality of life. Really, it's unfair. Beer is more consistent; it's produced with more devotion and care; it's at least as healthy." Plus, human feet are conspicuously absent from beer making. ~Steve Mirsky, "Ale's Well with the World: A yeasty discussion of the science of malt and hops," Scientific American, May 2007,

No, they did not drink Beer....
That abstinence from Malt
Has always struck me as extremely curious.
The Greek mind must have had some vital fault,
That they should stick to liquors so injurious—
(Wine, water, tempered p'raps with Attic salt)—
And not at once invent that mild, luxurious,
And artful beverage, Beer. How the digestion
Got on without it, is a startling question.
~Charles Stuart Calverley, "Beer," Verses and Translations, 1862

Hefeweizen. Never drink something you can't spill. #Gewurztraminer  ~Steve Miller,

The great war of 1870 was not between the Germans and the French, but between beer and red wine. When the wine-flask came in contact with the beer-barrel, it was natural for the glass to be shattered. ~Arthur Handly Marks, "Berlin: Its Bayonets and Its Beer" (Berlin, 1887 June 14th)

Such power hath Beer. The heart which Grief hath canker'd
Hath one unfailing remedy—the Tankard.
~Charles Stuart Calverley, "Beer," Verses and Translations, 1862

Lay not a churle upon a gentleman, drink not beer after wine. ~Lewis Evans, as quoted by Burton Stevenson

Wine on beer never fear;
Beer on wine always decline.
~An old German jingle, as quoted by Burton Stevenson

Wine upon beer is very good cheer; beer upon wine consider with fear. ~German proverb

[T]hat good sound beer, which is neither nauseous from its newness, nor noxious from its staleness, is in unison with the animating diet of Animal Food, which we are recommending as the most effective antidote to debility &c. experience has sufficiently proved. There can be no doubt, that the combination of the tonic power of the Hop, and the nourishment of the Malt, is much more invigorating than any simple vinous spirit... ~William Kitchiner (1775–1827), "Art of Invigorating Life," The Art of Invigorating and Prolonging Life, by Food, Clothes, Air, Exercise, Wine, Sleep, &c. and Peptic Precepts, Pointing Out Agreeable and Effectual Methods to Prevent and Relieve Indigestion, and to Regulate and Strengthen the Action of the Stomach and Bowels, c.1821

Any day can be salvaged by drinking a couple of cold ones with a good friend. ~Scrubs, "His Story II," 2004, written by Mark Stegemann  [S3, E18]  #happyhour

LIGHT BEER, n. See WATER. ~"Specimens of a Patent Pocket Dictionary," 1824

Mike Heck:  The news is on 24 hours a day now, so they've got to keep drumming up scary stuff so people will watch.
Brick:  But it's all true. It's all stuff that's really happening.
Mike:  Sure, but what you've got to do is ignore it. That's what I do. Anything that's gonna be bad news — TV, the internet, parent-teacher conferences — I ignore it. Embrace denial. You'll be much happier. Then, when you turn 21, embrace beer.
~The Middle, "Sleepless in Orson," 2014, written by Roy Brown  [S5, E10]

Beer drinkers don't want to know about world problems, that's why they drink beer. ~Last Man Standing, "Three Sundays," 2015, written by Vince Calandra and Richard Brandon Manus  [S4, E16, Mike Baxter]

They who drink beer will think beer. ~Author unknown, quoted by Washington Irving, 1818

Now, it has been said, albeit satirically, that those who drink beer think beer. Therefore, it behoves us to see that we consume only such beer as is good; for we may fairly deduce from the aphorism I have noted, that those who drink bad beer will think bad beer... ~Charles Hyatt-Woolf, Food Frauds and Foods that Feed: Being an Exposure of Some Commercial Shams, and Some Advice on What to Eat, 1897

To prevent beer from being turned by thunder.— Having ascertained that it is perfectly good, draw off entirely in pint pots; then having collected an equal number of railway navigators, distribute accordingly. This will answer in the hottest summer. ~"Advice Gratis," The World of Wit and Humour edited by George Manville Fenn, 1873

Precious to me—it is the Dinner Bell.
Oh blessed Bell! Thou bringest beef and beer...
~Charles Stuart Calverley, "Beer," Verses and Translations, 1862

Better weak beer than an empty cask. ~Danish proverb

It is interesting to watch these Germans... The children, no matter how small, take a sip of beer from the father's or mother's beer mug, a thing never seen in America. An American man would not be satisfied to sit so long over one glass of beer; he would probably consume five or six in the same length of time our German friend would take one. With the German it is a beverage of rest, not a desire to out-drink his companion or to drink to become intoxicated. I assure you it is very different from any beer garden in America. ~Mary Wilson Little, Retrospection, 1909

Coffee is good, and so no doubt is cocoa;
Tea did for Johnson and the Chinamen...
The Prima Donna, smiling herself out,
Recruits her flagging powers with bottled stout.
~Charles Stuart Calverley, "Beer," Verses and Translations, 1862

The three B's—beef, beer, and bread, form a complete and perfect diet, at once strengthening, sustaining, and stimulating. ~Charles Hyatt-Woolf, Food Frauds and Foods that Feed: Being an Exposure of Some Commercial Shams, and Some Advice on What to Eat, 1897

If beer tastes too much of cheer,
well then it borders on porter.
~Terri Guillemets

Ah! what dinners one gets down there [on Earth]. There's a certain dish called chops that beats our fairy food into fits; and they've a peculiar kind of nectar known as "bottled stout," which makes a fairy's hair curl to think of. ~F. Tomline (William Schwenck Gilbert) & Gilbert Arthur à Beckett, The Happy Land: A Burlesque Version of "The Wicked World," 1873  [First performed at the Royal Court Theatre, March 3rd, 1873. Prohibited by the Lord Chamberlain, March 7th, 1873. —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]

An’ all the wold vo’k zittèn near,
A-chattèn roun’ the vier pleäce,
Did smïle in woone another’s feäce,
An’ sheäke right hands wi’ hearty cheer,
An’ let their left hands spill their beer,
A keepèn up o’ Chris’mas.
~William Barnes, "Keepen Up O’ Chris’mas," Poems of Rural Life in the Dorset Dialect, 1844

If other Germans drink beer, German students swill it. If one is unable to toss off his fifteen glasses in an hour, it is regarded by his fellows as a sign of puerility only less strong than that he has the scar of no duel on his cheek. ~Arthur Handly Marks, "Berlin: Its Bayonets and Its Beer" (Berlin, 1887 June 14th)

Dry your barley in October,
Or you'll always be sober.
~English folk-rhyme  ["Because if this is not done, there will be no malt!" —tg]

The fine, warm, aromatic, bitter flavour peculiar to the best hops is mild and grateful to the palate, and perfectly free from the rank and nauseous bitter flavour produced in malt liquor by the use of inferior hops.... a uniform bright pale yellow is the proper colour; when rubbed on the hand they should leave it clammy, with an extremely fragrant odour, and perfectly free from rankness. ~John Pitt, How to Brew Good Beer: A Complete Guide to the Art of Brewing Ale, Bitter Ale, Table Ale, Brown Stout, Porter, and Table Beer, 1859

If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. ~Jack Handey, Deeper Thoughts, 1993,

This month received its name when the year began in March, and was called so by the Romans as being seventh from the beginning of the year... Our Saxon ancestors called it Gerst-Monat, or Barley-month, on account of the ripening of the grain so much cultivated by them for making their common drink, called ael and afterwards beere. ~Mary Jeaffreson, "September," 1884

In those old days which poets say were golden—
(Perhaps they laid the gilding on themselves:
And, if they did, I'm all the more beholden
To those brown dwellers in my dusty shelves,
Who talk to me "in language quaint and olden"
Of gods and demigods and fauns and elves,
Pan with his pipes, and Bacchus with his leopards,
And staid young goddesses who flirt with shepherds :)
~Charles Stuart Calverley, "Beer," Verses and Translations, 1862

Beer is liquid frivolity... ~Terri Guillemets

[T]he German workman takes a drink of beer. I have been watching brick-masons working on a new house. One of them would suddenly stop as if he had lost something, lay down his trowel, fumble a moment in his coat hanging near, and draw forth a bottle,—big-bellied like himself,—shake it a moment to raise the foam, without which beer is not beer, and then, wiping his lips with his rough, lime-dusted hand, throw back his head for the draft, while the quick, successive pumping of the "Adam's apple" in his brawny neck told what was happening. ~Arthur Handly Marks, "Berlin: Its Bayonets and Its Beer" (Berlin, 1887 June 14th)

Arms-and-legs., n.  Small beer: because there is no body in it. ~Slang and its Analogues: A Dictionary of Heterodox Speech, John S. Farmer and W. E. Henley, 1890s

Nobody seems more obsessed by diet than our anti-materialistic, otherworldly, New Age, spiritual types. But if the material world is merely illusion, an honest guru should be as content with Budweiser and bratwurst as with raw carrot juice, tofu, and seaweed slime. ~Edward Abbey

A lumberjack's best friend is a good lager. ~Terri Guillemets 😂

I read the prescription. It ran:
      "1 lb. beefsteak, with
      1 pt. bitter beer
            every 6 hours.
      1 ten-mile walk every morning.
      1 bed at 11 sharp every night.
And don't stuff up your head with things you don't understand."
I followed the directions, with the happy result... that my life was preserved, and is still going on. ~Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog), 1889 — hypochondriac's prescription

What will the London brewers say when they hear that at Rhode Island the beer is brewed so strong, that it requires three men to blow the head off a pot of porter, and they must be tolerably long-winded? ~"Yankee Progress," The World of Wit and Humour edited by George Manville Fenn, 1873

Beer lays a comforting veil of mirth between reality and me. ~Terri Guillemets

My dad, he had a big hop farm
      Up in New York State a ways;
      And ne'er will I forget the fun
      Of hop-picking time those days!
So, when time came to pick the hops—
      In August and September—
      Oh, I was thrilled right through and through!
      For I was young, remember!...
We'd have dances in the hop house,
      The fiddle going full blast,
      The smell of hops in our nostrils;
      I always danced till the last!
~Gertrude Tooley Buckingham, "Hop Picking Time," 1940s

The German. A man of robust body and therefore clear head; one who does not use spirits, because the craving which causes other persons to drink wine and whiskey has been satisfied in him by something which does not weaken, but strengthens; a dull, fat-welted fellow when he attempts to tread in the more airy regions of humor and fancy (I have never heard that the Muses drank beer); but keep him on the ground and he is sensible and level-headed, always a bit of the philosopher. Hence his language is full of aphorisms and proverbs. ~Arthur Handly Marks, "Berlin: Its Bayonets and Its Beer" (Berlin, 1887 June 14th)

After a few beers, my nouns stumble and my verbs can no longer talk straight.
O! yes after a few good beers verbs blunder and nouns fall flat on their faces.
~Terri Guillemets

Our... good Home-brewed Beer — which has been very deservedly called "Liquid Bread," is preferable to any other Beverage during Dinner or Supper... ~William Kitchiner (1775–1827), "Wine," The Art of Invigorating and Prolonging Life, by Food, Clothes, Air, Exercise, Wine, Sleep, &c. and Peptic Precepts, Pointing Out Agreeable and Effectual Methods to Prevent and Relieve Indigestion, and to Regulate and Strengthen the Action of the Stomach and Bowels, c.1821  #homebrewing

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